


There has been better timing

by CatrinHope



Series: Timing Series [2]
Category: Harry Potter - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Bad Dumbledore, Death Eaters, F/F, F/M, First War with Voldemort, Implied Relationships, Implied Sexual Content, Implied Slash, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Implied/Referenced Torture, James Bashing, M/M, Murder Mystery, Mystery, Sirius Bashing, first wizarding war
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-05
Updated: 2017-11-02
Packaged: 2018-07-21 18:10:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 22
Words: 24,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7398109
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CatrinHope/pseuds/CatrinHope
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Severus may now have found his daughter but the world still see him as a murder and now as a Death Eater and frankly he's starting to wondering if that's truly a bad thing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He spent what felt like a lifetime starting at that little girl. They were the only two beings in existence, until peaceful bubble was popped by Dumbledore, “Mrs. Black, I've brought your guest over,”   
“Have you now?”   
His stomach gave a pleasant lurch at the sound off his old girlfriend’s voice. He snapped his head round to where her voice had come from. She didn't look as dazzlingly as she had at Lily’s wedding but his heart still leapt at the sight of her. He wished he could say she had the same reaction. When she saw him, she eyes widened and a wand was pointed at his face. She looked truly terrified and it hurt his heart to know that was cause be him. He'd thought she would have been clever enough to know he hadn't committed any of the murders, that she had known him well enough to understand. But then her eyes flickered over the oblivious toddler. His shoulders sagged as he realized she thought he was going to take their child.   
“What's he doing here?” She demanded, gritting her teeth, never taking her eyes off Severus as she talked to Dumbledore.   
“Now calm down Johanna, Severus here was freed and cleared of all charges, he has come to the side of the light,” Dumbledore put his hand on Severus shoulder, “he has become a spy for us and in return we offer him a home. That is where you come in,”   
“You never told me he was who we were housing,”   
Before Dumbledore could speak, Johanna slap her wand down on the table,   
“Fine, tying to argue with you is something I know is pointless so I'd rather not waste my energy,” she pursed her lips, looking between the two, Severus heart jumped each time she looked at him.  
“Should I get you something to eat?”  
“Not for me Johanna,” Dumbledore said, but Severus still refused to look at him, unable to take his eyes off his old girlfriend. “But I believe Severus would most enjoy some tea in his new home, Severus, Johanna,”  
“Dumbledore,” Johanna muttered back. It took Severus a minute to realize Dumbledore was saying goodbye. He turned round to see the kitchen door closing, leaving the two alone. The kitchen was silence except for ticking kitchen clock and the tiny girl gurgling happily at the mess she'd made. Johanna just started at him, hands on hips,   
“You got out,”   
He jumped when she spoke, “Yes,” he said slowly, “I was innocent,”   
She smirked, “that didn't keep you out of jail though,” she turned around, opening cupboard doors, until she had all the ingredients for a sandwich. He sat down as she made him some food, next to his daughter. His daughter, it all sounded strange to him. She noticed him starting and waggled a slither of slimy pear in his face. He wrinkled his nose,   
“No thank you,”  
it didn't deter the little girl, waving it again, babbling loudly   
“You better take it,” Jo said, buttering a piece of beard, “she won't stop until you do,” he took it out of her chubby hand with the tips of his fingers,   
“Thank you,” he said, putting it quickly down on the table,   
“She's stubborn,”   
“Gets it off her mother,”   
Jo smirked again, “Yes, but she's as naive as her father,”  
“Well Black always was always an idiot,”  
“I wasn't talking about Black,” the tension in the room went up, Jo staring straight at Severus, changeling him,   
“Oh, so I'm stupid now, what exactly have I done?”   
she didn't speak immediately but continued to make his meal, she put it down in front of him, her hair brushing over his cheek as she did do and sat down on the other side,   
“You left me,”   
“I left you? You make it sound like I had a choice,”   
“You did have a choice!” she snapped, slamming her hand down on the table. She turned her attention to their child, hoping she wasn't disturbed, but the happy two-year-old continued to munch away at her breakfast.   
“You had the choice to not try and remake a demon summoning potion!” she whispered but the anger was still there, “it could have gone wrong, you could have been found out!” she ran her hands through her hair taking out the hair tie and started playing with it,   
“I was going to tell you that morning, because if you'd been successful with this potion, what was to stop you going further into rediscovering the blood magic until you'd sold all our soles! But no, by then you'd already been arrested,”   
she glared up at Severus, his fists clenched, he'd done nothing wrong! If anything he'd done all of this for her.   
“You left me, left me to raise a child outside of wedlock. As if my parents didn't hate me enough.” she finished bitterly,   
“So is that your excuse? For running off with Black?”   
She looked back at Phoenix, blushing slightly, “Black always had feelings for me and I needed a father for Phoenix, he seemed like an okay choice,” she shrugged and looked back at him, “jealous?”   
“Frankly jo, I'm still too in shock to be jealous,”   
she smiled, actually smiled at him and he couldn't help smiling back. They were safe all that hard work had paid off he could see them here, safe and sound. The peaceful quiet in the kitchen was interrupted by the loud creaking of floor boards above. Johanna groaned,   
“That'll be Sirius,” she said getting up from the table,   
“Not enjoying life in paradise?”   
she glared at him again but said, “of course not, at least your stupidity made me laugh, he's such an idiot some days I just want to cut his head open to see if there's any actual brains in there,” she moved away from the table, but Severus grabbed her wrist before she could,  
“Then…we could-?”  
She laughed at him before he could finish, “you are stupid.” She ran her hands though her hair again, switching the hair tie from wrist to wrist, “I'll warn him you're here,” she walked to the door and spun round to face him again, “Phoenix is his daughter, do you understand?”   
He nodded gripping his wand tight in his hand, ready for whatever black threw at him. Actually black had taken it quite well. Yes, he had told Severus that if he betrayed the order he would kill him, but there had been no hexes cast and no vile words exchange and once again the room descended in to an uncomfortable silence. 

“What exactly are you doing for the order?” Jo asked him when she showed him to his room. It was bare of any furniture apart from a single bed and empty bookshelf on the white wall behind it.   
“What are you doing for the order?”  
“I'm innocent witch ready to do anything to save our great society,” she said mockingly, holding a hand her heart, “you're a recently released prisoner,”   
He glared at her but she merely picked at the peeling plaster in the doorway.   
“I joined the Dark Lord, Dumbledore wants me to spy for him.” he shrugged, sitting down the bed. Johanna didn't seem as indifferent, rising to her fill height, fists clenched at her sides   
“Why did you do that?” Jo said through gritted teeth. Severus opened his mouth to snap that it had been Dumbledore’s idea to do that, but closed it again when he realized that he said that, it would lead to uncomfortable questions about why he'd even agreed. Did he want her to know she and his daughter he'd never met were the reason he'd risked his life? In the end his pride won, and he remained silent.  
Jo tutted, “You really are stupid.”  
He bit the inside of his cheek. Jo grabbed the door and it creaked until she half closed it.   
“I'll leave you then, I don't suggest exploring the rest of the house, Sirius is on tether hooks as it is, but you can go out, you are our guest,” she bowed sarcastically, “oh and, don't think about going near Phoenix.”


	2. Chapter 2

She left after that, he didn't know if that was because she was bored or angry. Perhaps just disappointed. He sighed, staring down at the feast she'd prepared him. It was like a private Hogwarts breakfast feast; everything he could possible want to eat for breakfast, cooked eggs, bacon and beans, porridge with honey and sugar on the side, toast with several stacked pots of spreadable and coffee. He stared at the coffee and took a sip.

He felt like crying. They never gave the prisoners in Azkaban anything more than a puddle of bland soup three times a day that had looked like dish water and tasted much worse. Sometimes he hoped they'd just let him starve. He'd never eaten much in the first place, but he'd always had coffee, he forgot that taste of coffee, he forgot that he had missed it. Johanna had remembered how he liked it as well. It was scolding as he tipped it backwards, steam cling to his face. It made him feel sick and his throat burn, it made him feel human to have such luxuries. However, the sudden intake of sustenance made his stomach turn and twist until it forced him to run to the bathroom to throw it all back up. The bathroom across the hall was just a sink and toilet but Johanna had also kitted out with what he needed. Towels, flannels, soap.

A razor.

It was placed so neatly on the sink, the blade facing him. 'Johanna put it there. She would love me more if I just ended it.' But not everything revolved around Johanna. He got up from the floor to clean out his mouth and just so happened to pick up the razor, he was just looking at how sharp it was. 'if I had had more courage to kill myself after Azkaban, that girl would still be alive.' 

"Oi!"

The door hit the wall with a bang as someone ran into the bathroom. He jumped to see who had entered, the razor slipping from his hand and to the floor. There was now a small girl sitting on the toilet, her dungarees around her feet. He blinked, mouth gaping, unsure how to process the intrusion. It wasn't Phoenix, this girl was older, around about five, with light brown pigtails and hazels eyes. She was sucking on her thumb and kicking her tiny legs. He looked away, looking down at the sink, still unable to move.

"Who are you?" she asked loudly.

"Umm…" 'Severus, Severus Snape,' his brain supplied "err…" the small girl's intrusion had had him dumb, unable to speak, "umm," he repeated as the girl got off the toilet and flushed it.

"What the fuck are you doing Snape?"

He sighed, no peace today, at all. He turned to face Black, who had also stormed into the bathroom.

"Should you be swearing in front of children, Black?"

Black looked down at this new tiny girl.

"Are you gonna say fuck to anyone?"

She shook her head, her pigtails smacking her cheeks, as she pulled her dungaree straps onto her shoulders.

"Good," he looked back at Severus,

"What the fuck are you doing in here? With little girl?"

His hand twitched, "Nothing. She barged in here."

"I needed the toilet," the girl said pouting.

Black almost looked disappointed he didn't have a reason to throw Severus out, that didn't stop him bitterly saying, "Don't ever do that Dora, especially with him, I don't want you ever to be alone with him."

"Who is he?" Dora said staring at him,

"I'm Severus," he finally managed to say, before Sirius could put any cruel names in her mind,

"I'm Nyphadora."

And he thought his name was weird, she extended an unwashed hand which he could, trying not to laugh as Dora tried to stretch her entire hand around his.

"What were you doing in here Snape?"

"Is that any of your concern?" he asked picking up the razor from the floor. Black raised his eyebrows looking at the razor,

"Oh I'm sorry," he started as Severus pushed past him, "didn't realised I was interrupting you doing that, I wouldn't have stopped you."

 

God-fucking-dammit. He was not going to let Black get to him. He was certainly not feeling embarrassed about thinking about suicide. He definitely wasn't blushing about it.

"You haven't finished your breakfast Severus." Johanna hadn't even looked up as he entered the long dining room. She had her glasses on, scratching away at the piece of paper she was holding down firmly on the kitchen table.

"No, umm… who's the new kid?"

Johanna sighed, looking over the top of her glasses,

"Nyphadora, Sirius' cousin's daughter," she chewed her quill, "His first cousin once removed that would be. She's staying round for a little while," she sighed again, clearly not liking the small child. "Did she go into your room?"

"No, bathroom. Oh yeah, thanks for the coffee, you remembered how I like it."

She shrugged looking back at her writing, "Black and no sugar. It hardly difficult to remember."

Severus fiddled with the wand in his waist band as Johanna refused to look up at him.

"Here'a."

He looked down. Phoenix was offering a red wooden block. He hadn't noticed his own daughter playing at his feet, 'what a scaringly domestic thought.' She was drooling slightly and chewing her black hair, 'my hair,' as she wiggled the red cube at him. He looked up at Johanna, she was still staring at paper. He crouched down next to Phoenix.

"Thanks," he said quietly, smiling at the gurgling two-year-old. She slapped her hands together, waddling back to her tower of multi coloured bricks. She returned with another brick, then another until Severus found he couldn't hold them anymore. He started putting them on the floor, Phoenix adding bricks to the tower he was apparently now building. Behind him, he heard Sirius and Dora rushing down the stairs and he stilled, wondering if he should more away or stand his ground? Fortunately, the two's footsteps travelled away to some other part of the house and he sat more comfortably on the floor with his daughter. He found himself becoming somewhat calmed by the block placing, making each row as the blocks were passed to him. He stopped to look at Phenoix as she continued to add her own blocks. She was wearing a white dress with splattering with shining dribble and food stains and was wearing cat patterned socks which had nearly slipped off from her constant running between the two towers.

"Here." He grabbed the child, who wiggled in his grasp trying to return to her tower once more. He wiped her chin with his sleeve and pulled her socks up for her, which she immediately got down again as she skipped back to her tower. Phoenix had now become more excited, bouncing over to him and hitting him with the block, giggling,

"Hey!" he grabbed her hand carrying the block, then the other to hold her still, but she continued to jump, swinging from side to side as if they were dancing. He had to laughing at her, touched by his daughter acceptance of him as he kept hold of her.

He'd forced a girl down to the ground with those hands and had raped and murdered her.

He ripped his hands out of his daughter's, making her cry out slightly, sniffing violently. They'd force him to do it again, to her. No, not his daughter. There was blood everywhere, pouring from the cracks in the ceiling, out from the bottom of his shoes. It ran quickly, bubbling until there was a red haze surrounding him. He couldn't see his daughter, lost in haze. Not his daughter, no, no, God no. He was falling, hands on him, the haze swallowing him. They were going send his back.

The haze disappeared instantly, but his damaged mind refused to admit this as he looked dumbfounded at the hand holding his arm. It was His, he flinched away but the long red nails dug into his upper arm. Johanna had her hand clutching him and her free arm holding the still sniffing and teary eyed Phoenix.

"She okay?"

"She just took a little tumble. Are you?"

He stared at Phoenix, who had buried her head in her mother's shoulder, she was safe, he was safe. After he didn't answer, Johanna let go of him, resettling Phoenix,

"I told you not to touch her."

He didn't want, not while his hands still were covered in blood. He sat down at the table, brushing his hair from his forehead, which was covered in sweat.

"What happened sweetheart?"

Black had come in the girl following behind him. He'd gone straight for Phoenix who was wriggling in her mother's hands. He took the toddler from Johanna, lifting her into the air.

"Aww, what's my baby girl crying about?" he cooed as Phoenix babbled back. Severus watched them from the corner of his eye. It wasn't that he hated Black because he thought Phoenix was his but that Black was making Phoenix happy when Severus had made her cry. He wanted Black to be just as bad a father as he was shaping up to be.

"Who are you?"

He looked down at Dora, who had her arms folded, looked up at Severus with suspicious squinted eyes. He wondered what Black had told her,

"Severus."

"That's a stupid name."

'Says Nymphadora.' "Well that's my name. I told you that, remember?"

"Yes but who are you?"

He cocked his head to one side until Dora rephrased her question, "Why are you here?"

"Well I'm your aunt and uncle's guest," he looked up at them when he said it, Johanna was refusing to look at him while Black glared at him. The corners of his mouth twitched as Dora tugged on his trousers.

"But why are you here?"

He took a guess at what she meant, "I'm helping them."

She cocked her head as well, squinting until her eyes were closed, "but aren't you meant to be the bad guy."

So Black had spoken to her.

"No I'm… well I'm not the bad guy."

She continued to squint for a minute, before beaming at him.

"Alright!" she skipped away, looking down at Phoenix's tower. She giggled at it, and pushed the top blocks off.

"Hey!" he snapped, taking a strange feeling of offence at the destruction, "Don't knock that over."

"Oi Snape you don't get to speak like that to Dora!"

Phoenix started crying softly again,

"Right- sit down!" Johanna yelled as Severus got up, reaching for his wand. He slowly lowered himself, displaying his hands in surrender, "Right, Siri no shouting at our guests, Snape no shouting at other guests, Dora, just…calm down."

Dora blushed staring at her feet, Severus wished he hadn't shouted now.

He found himself in pain again. He bent forward, hissing, wondering if he was lapsing again. But when the nauseating pain became just stinging pain in his arm he felt dread come over. 'not now.'

"You okay?" Johanna was beside him. No, she couldn't see it. He squeezed his arm tighter, his stomach twisting at the idea of her seeing the ugly mark. Black groaned and stormed over,

"You're not actually fucking killing yourself," he groaned, forcing Severus' sleeve out of his hand, revealing the mark. They physically stepped back from him. They were repulsed by him. Black seemed actually afraid of him Although Johanna was staring at his arm, she wasn't looking at the mark, rather the black tattooed marks around his wrist. 'Did you think I wouldn't succeed?'

"I…" he started, standing and roughly pulling his sleeve down. He left without completing his sentence, he strode out the door of the kitchen, the light from his wrists the only light in the hallway as he made his way of the door.

 

"I have a mission for you," the Dark Lord was saying as Severus laid sprawled on the ground. Apparently wearing his muggle clothes was a tortureable offense, frankly everything seemed like a tortureable offense.

"For me?"

"For you to accompany others on."

Severus rose gingerly to his feet. It was cold and a strong breeze was blowing where he stood, salt in his eyes and mouth. He was by the grey coast surrounded by nine cloaked and masked Death Eaters. He wondered if they had their cloaks on hand at all times to make sure they didn't end up like him. As if the Dark Lord had read his mind, which was impossible as he had made sure, a black cloak and silver mask appeared at his feet. He bowed, muttering thanks, but the Dark Lord wasn't looking at him, instead over his shoulder at the Death Eater behind him.

"Shylock, I'll leave them with you."

Severus tried not to show any emotion until the Dark Lord had gone, before turning, staring at his masked brother. He didn't know whether to be excited that he was here or sickened. Nevertheless, he was going to have to open his mouth soon as the disguised man, who was supposedly his brother, marched up to him. Severus may have grown in his stay in prison but Shylock had grown taller, still towering over his younger brother. Shylock wrapped one arm around Severus muttering,

"You got out."

Severus took three shaky breaths before he believed he was well enough to speak, "They…d-dropped the charges,"

"Pity. I thought you'd made me proud."

Shylock finally let go, Severus unclenching this fists allowing himself to shake.

Shylock turned to the group, "There is a portkey there," he pointed to a burnt patch of ground surrounded by unkempt brown grass where an old crinkled map lay, "any of you not touching it when we go, better be dead when we return or else I'll have to kill you,"

Severus wondered if any of the others knew how frightening that was.

"What exactly are we doing?" He asked following his brother to the map, as he pulled the black cloak over his head.

"We're going to France, Nice to be precise. There a wizarding cult there that his Lordship wants us to reach out to. He wishes to take our cause internationally," Shylock chuckled to himself as they stood by the map, "it's about you, and them proving their worth to him."

"And what about you?"

Shylock looked his watch in silence, Severus realising he wasn't going to be able to sleep this entire journey. Before Severus could stutter out an apology, Shylock yelled at the group around the map, "Right it's time! Grab a corner and don't you dare let go."

Severus knelt beside the map, grabbing a side, his other hand still holding the silver mask. Looking at the other masked people around him, he felt embarrassed not to put it on. It sealed to his face, moulding perfectly to it. He breathed hard through his nose, feeling more scared and sickened now than ever before. They truly could send him back to Azkaban now. 'They can't, Dumbledore told me to this, I'm doing it for the right reasons.' Somehow he wasn't so sure of that. He felt a pull at his navel and the cold English coast disappeared.


	3. Chapter 3

He had only just stopped spinning, finally being able to see the thick pine forest they had landed in, when he was struck by a heavy force in his side, toppling him to the floor again. The solid force stayed on top of him as he struggled on the ground, trying to reach for his wand, cursing his mask with its bad peripheral vision when the force spoke,

"I'm so glad to see you Sev," the 'force' hugged him tighter.

"Selina?"

He tried to sit up and look at his sister but she kept him firmly gripped in her arms against the leaf and branch covered woodland floor.

"Ugh! I knew you'd be okay."

"Selina!"

Selina flinched and Severus hissed as Shylock yelled at them. She hastily let go of him and righted herself, keeping her masked face down and shaking hands by her side, cowering from their older brother. Severus finally got off the floor, glaring at Shylock for scaring their little sister. The seven other hooded Death Eaters were also getting up, three had their masks off, bending over, clearly not used to portkey travelling. Another stood up and looked around at the forest before turning to Shylock,

"This isn't Nice," he snapped, gritting his teeth and holding his short black wand out.

"Personally I think it's quite lovely," Selina whispered. He tried to smile, trying to mask his immense relief at how familiar it was. She was still Selina, and here.

That meant she must have- he didn't want to think about what that meant, his relief turning into cold dread that made him sick. He looked back at his brother, who was slowly approaching the much smaller man who had spoken.

"We are in Nice. However, our…hosts would prefer we cannot arrive by magical means. It is two days walk to their abode."

"Two days? Of walking?" the man scoffed, crossing his arms as if sulking.

Clearly this man had a death wish.

"Why not get us closer then?"

Shylock was now towering over the man, Selina backing into Severus, those around them were now standing stock still, completely silence and those who had taken off their masks had quickly returned them to their faces.

"What exactly do you think this would entail."

"Killing filthy Muggles, what else?"

"And what about listen to what your Lord wants you to do."

The man scoffed again. Selina whimpered, grasping Severus' arm for just a moment before letting go.

"You know, it would almost sound like you're not up for the challenge. I mean if walking is too much for you then how exactly do you expect you can be of use to us."

Now the man seemed to get it. He tried to step backwards,

"No what I meant was-"

Shylock grabbed the man's shoulder with a black gloved hand.

"What you meant was, that you don't want to do this."

"I want to kill something not… ah just listen," he tried to shake off Shylock's hand, but it moved up to the man's neck and picked him up, the short man almost quacking and waggling his feet.

"Now unless you weren't aware," he raised his voice to the entire crowd, "Me and my little sister over here, are meant to keep an eye on you rookies and if any of one prove to be nothing more than loose ends, then-"

"Ah, er no I'm can- I was just asking. Jesus please don't kill me."

Shylock put the man down, who stumbled back, gasping for air.

"You want to kill people?"

"Yeah, I want to, I-I need to."

"But you know, we all need to do things we don't like doing. Right Selina?"

Selina jumped, making Severus try and catch her hand as she marched straight up to their brother.

"Yes, S-Shylock?"

"Do you like killing people?"

Severus slowly walked around to stand with the others, watching Selina shaking her head vigorously, unable to see her face through her mask. 'what are you doing Shylock?'

"But you do what you need to do for our cause," he bent over to her height condescendingly, "now don't you?"

Selina stood still for a fraction longer, before her shoulders dropped and she drew her wand.

"Wait what-" was the only the man got out before Selina hit him with the killing curse.

The group moved backwards as one at the horror that had occurred in front of them, leaving Severus to watch Selina lower her wand, her back slumped in defeat. It wasn't that he had seen Selina cast any illegal spells before, she certainly had liked creating them. But she had never killed anyone, she wasn't Shylock, she wasn't him. Selina was the one who made cookies and ate when she was painfully full. She always tried to make friends and made bad comebacks at her bullies. She was meant to be weak and pathetic, a heart of gold that was easy to pick on. Now she was digging a shallow grave with her wand. It didn't feel like it was happening. His sister didn't murder people. The Death Eaters around him gasped as Selina dragged the body into the small pit. They were starting to irritate him, at least it had only been a killing curse, Shylock could have done much worse. But he'd made Selina do it this time, Shylock had probably made her join- if he had had to rape someone, had they made Selina? It had been pulling at his heart since he'd known she was here. Now she'd murdered someone, Shylock had made her murder someone.

"Anyone else got any complaints?"

Complete silence.

"Good." He picked up the map from the floor, "Selina, get a move on with that." He snatched her wand from her hand and Severus felt his feet jerk slightly towards them, he stopped himself unsure he was exactly planning on doing,

"Severus with me."

Shylock strode ahead of them all, the other masked Death Eaters following suit.

"Selina," Severus whispered, walking towards her, where she stood staring down at the body in its pit and the pile of soil beside it.

"Severus!"

Selina looked up slightly, brown eyes shining and wet, and gestured her head minutely towards their brother.

He sighed, dragging his feet away. "Coming Shylock."

Severus looked around the forest, it was incredibly noisy, the sound of their footsteps on dry leaves added to the hubbub of tweeting birds and grazing animals that couldn't be seen through the thick trees. It was warmer here but a gentle breeze that they were sheltered from by the trees pushed them forwards. He ran past the others to catch up with his brother, who had his mask off while studying the map. Something deep inside Severus still hated how handsome his brother was. It was petty and childish but he thought it unfair that Shylock got both the height and attractiveness, the last two years certainly had done him some favours as well, looking taller and muscular than Severus remembered. He was more tanned, Severus noticed, as well as this the side of his neck was tattooed with gibberish capital letters such as PTU and SIAL.

"You must think me harsh brother."

'I think much worse of you don't worry.'

"But Selina has to learn, she's a very misguided person," he looked disgust as if what she was misguided about made him sick. Severus looked behind him at Selina, now pushing dirt into the hole she had made. She had told Severus about her feelings for Lily in his fourth year. His less than warm reaction was probably better in comparison if Shylock ever found out. Probably wasn't a matter of ifs. Severus looked back at the tattoos that ran down Shylock's neck but were mostly hidden by the neckline of the cloak.

"What's with the tattoos?"

Shylock made a noise at the back of his throat, looking back at the map, "Facts, things I need to remember."

Severus held his tongue about how could Shylock see the top of his own neck.

"I see." he said instead. Shylock stopped walking, the small group behind him coming to a sudden halt, one of the women stumbling and slipping in her haste to not hit Shylock.

"This way," he gestured with his head, making the group turn, Selina still not having catched up.

"I know how you feel about Selina, Severus,"

The comment made him jump, as he snapped his head back from watching Selina.

"What do you mean?"

"You care about her. I do too even if you don't think so. You weren't here to look after her."

"That wasn't my fault." he tried to make it sound like he was accusing but with Shylock could easily take anything the wrong way.

"No, so I heard, the times didn't match up. Makes sense really."

"How so?"

"Well I murdered Professor Upton."

Severus stopped walking, this time the people behind him did end up bumping into him. How could he? How could Shylock tell him that he was the reason Severus had gone to prison so easily? At least Potter had been sorry. His mouth made movement, but the angry and betrayal pumping through his veins refused to make coherent words. Shylock had turned around, and Severus could felt himself reaching for his wand. He wanted to kill Shylock, he had never wanted to kill anyone more, he needed to, he needed Shylock's blood on his hands to rest the monstrous feelings boiling below the surface.

"What? Are you going to kill me brother?" Shylock laughed.

Brother. Like Shylock had never been anything than another abusive asshole in his house.

"Why?"

"Why?" he chuckled, the group had stopped moving once more. Shylock had also noticed looking at where the frightened masked people were shuffling, unexperienced and scared. 'This is what England's afraid of.'

Shylock growled under his breath, "We need to keep moving." he muttered, Selina finally catching up.

"No you need-"

Shylock backhanded him, Severus knocking his head against one of the trees,

"I told Him that my past with you wouldn't get in the way, little brother. Don't disappoint me." he moved on, his black cloaked sheep bounding off behind him, leaving Selina to help Severus up.

"Do you feeling okay?"

"Yeah." He felt shit, like his skull had cracked but he was getting used to the feeling. And he was hardly surprised that Shylock had murdered someone and had been glad someone else had taken the fall. But that he had caused the suffering of the last two years of his life. 'two down, one more to go.' He'd forgotten about that, not that he could ever forget about Azkaban, but forgotten that others that caused him that suffering, that they needed to pay.

"Come on, he'll get angry if we don't catch up."

Selina pulled him along before they were a little way behind the others and walked together in silence.

"I'm...glad you're alive," she finally said, having taken off her mask and smiled slightly.

"Yeah, and I you, you worried for quite a while actually, I didn't know if you were alive."

"No, I'm fine, Shylock's been looking after me."

'and what exactly does that mean sister?'

"Really?" he said causally not wanting to find another reason to kill his brother, as he was sure if he did, one of them would end up dead tonight.

"Yeah. he got this great job after...you...left."

He nodded shortly, both not wanting to stop her talking and unsure if he wanted to find out anything else about what Shylock had done.

"He's let me stay at his since."

"Are you paying rent?"

She looked down and put her mask back on,

"Not in money."

Shylock needed to die, he didn't want to think what that meant but all of the images passing through his mind (Shylock forcing Selina to commit murders like errands, Shylocks tapping his fingers as a table as he watched the effects of a new venom on his sister, Shylock pinning a naked Selina down as she cried), were all punishable by death.

"It's odd isn't it?"

"Hm?" Shylock would die, but from what past experience had taught him, he was bad at covering up murder. 'that was always Shylock's thing.'

"That we're travelling through these forest, like this,"

She was trying to change the subject, but Severus was too furious to try and listen. How did he expect to kill Shylock? Someone faster and stronger than him? Someone who still had their original wand? 'Selina could help me.' But if Selina had spent two years in Shylock's manipulative grasp it was unlikely she would help.

"I mean I get it?"

"I don't," he said bitterly. Fuck Shylock's plan.

"Well," she said sighing with relief, "what kind of idiots approaches a group of cloaks masked people?"

"Other wizards?"

"But they don't know who we are, the communications between France and wizarding England have become even more strained since the…Dark Lord's declaration of war." He could hear her smirk at the name, "France has its own problems. We're actually visiting one of them," she sounded so excited at the prospect as if she had completely that she had just killed someone. 'Or completely repressed that she had.' 

"Surely we are then just uniting the two forces?" He didn't mean to snap at Selina but given killing Shylock was probably not an option for now, he had to get out his anger somehow.

"That's if they find out." She was skipping now.

"Hunters." He said definitely,

"Hmm?"

"Hunters would approach us."

Selina chuckled, "We don't look like deer silly," she slapped his arm, "we should have brought Potter," she started laughing louder.

He sighed, trying not to smile, "I've missed you Selina."

"I've missed you too Sev."

While the terrain they were on was flat and sheltered the, from the sun, Shylock kept them moving long into the night. The cold got to them, the group holding their flowing cloaks close to them with only the light from Shylock's wand to guide them through the pitch black forest. Severus refused to complain and kept his jaw locked allowing Selina to chatter without stop as he made noise of encouragement, trying to stop his teeth from chattering. She talked about her NEWT results which were excellent in Severus option (O in Charms, DADA, E in Transfiguration, A in Divination, Herbology and Muggle Studies), about Shylock's job (working in the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures at a low level) and most surprisingly her own job (a shop assistant in a wizarding library on the outskirts of London). While he had no doubts about the hold his brother had over her it was nice to know she had had a little bit of freedom for a short while.

"I had only been working there for six months and then it was Christ…" she trailed off, "Have you… Severus have you been…to see…" she couldn't get the words out, twisting her sleeves in her hands, breathing sharply. He watched her with baited breath, what could possibly so hard to say?

"Jesus have you been home?"

Oh. It was odd to think that he was relieved she was only talking about the death of their parents.

"Yeah I have…did Shylock do that?"

She said nothing.

"So…I've met Fred recently," he said quietly not wanting Selina to suffer in silent.

"Fenrir?"

"Yeah, you heard from him too?"

"Well, Shylock has. He talks about him a lot but he's always angry when he does. I think he wants Fenrir to stop running away…I think." She shrugged, "did you see him?"

"Yes, he's been keeping an eye on me." An annoyingly stalkerish eye. Severus didn't care what he said the werewolf about owls, no one sent random owls to a werewolf.

"Hm. That's odd."

And probably something that would make Shylock jealous. 'or kill me faster.' The people in front of him had stopped but due to the darkness he hadn't seen them and collided into their backs.

"Oh sorry, sorry!" Selina whispered, stroking the person in front of her, as if it was helping any of them, until Severus grabbed her wrist.

"Alright!"

Severus' anger boiled up again as Shylock spoke, "We'll camp here for the night. Lumos Maxima!"

Severus shielded his eyes from the bright light that illuminated the clearing. Shylock took the bag off his back with a resounding thump, Shylock pressed his wand into it and muttered under his breath. The bag exploded outwards unfolding itself to impossible lengths, levitating above the ground, higher and higher on invisible hooks until a tent stood before them. Shylock once again gestured with his wand lighting the floor with a ball of fire. He turned into the tent without another word. They followed him inside where there were three bunk beds and three camp beds.

"I hope you can all make yourselves comfortable." Shylock said with a mocking sense of hosting.

"Um," one of the women Death Eaters said, hesitantly raising their hand, "well, what exactly are we meant to get changed into? I…don't know what everyone else has been told but I haven't exactly packed for anything…at all."

"Well," Shylock beamed, making Severus uneasy and by the way the woman Death Eater stepped back, it made her worried too, "clearly, you need to start preparing for everything. Selina!"

They all jumped.

"Um yes Shylock?"

"I'd like to talk to you in private."

No. He wasn't letting Shylock spend any time alone with Selina. He followed them outside of the tent but when Shylock began to lead Selina into the forest, he grabbed her wrist.

"Selina."

"I'm fine," how could he believe that?

"Selina you don't have to go."

"Trust me, I'm fine," she ripped her hand from his grip and ran to catch up with Shylock. He watched them go until the darkness swallowed them and they walked away. Then continued to look out until he couldn't hear their footsteps anymore. He liked to convince himself that Shylock wasn't going to hurt Selina, he had no reason to and he was her brother. He felt sick. He turned back to the camp where the others had gathered around the fireball. He sat down on the opposite side, staring into the flames, refusing to think about Selina. 'Coward.'

"I can't…"

He looked up at the woman Death Eater was speaking across the fire. She had taken off her mask revealing her brown skinned face and black curly hair, her warm brown eyes almost shining gold as she stared at the fire, "I can't believe Gideon's dead, I've known him since our first year at Hogwarts."

"Trust me, more are going to be dead before this is all over." He hadn't meant to speak, but now all eyes were on him. He hastily became very interested in the leaves that coated the ground. Even if they didn't look alike, the group could probably tell that Shylock and Severus were 'close'.

"What's your name?" The black woman had spoken again,

"Severus. Severus Snape."

"Have you just out of prison recently?" A boy, probably younger than Severus spoke, he had a round face and sandy blond hair. He doubted his case had barely made any headlines after his original arrest, but it filled him with dread that these people could think he actually committed those crimes. He nodded,

"Yeah," the blond boy smiled, "my father was telling me about you. Everyone in his department was on edge that they'd have a media storm after what happened with you. He works for the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, they thought you'd go to the Daily Prophet or something."

"Like they would have cared." In truth it hadn't crossed his mind. Frankly he had no money nor name that would have probably made them interested. He wondered if they had even reported that there were still technically three murders out there. He didn't want to find out, wanting to put as much distance between him and others knowing about what had happened. He would find out soon enough who they all were and kill them, 'most of them. Jo will never forgive me if I kill James.'

"My name's Victoria," the black woman said suddenly, now all eyes turned her, "Victoria Boivin."

"Barty," the boy said, offering his hand to the five sitting around him and then to Severus, "Barty Crouch."

Severus definitely recognised the name, perhaps his father had been at his trial. After that each of the others also introduced themselves. There was Penelope Maceachern a Scottish red head who sat next to the only still masked Death Eater. Phillip Chance an older stern looking bald man who sat next to Barty. Baldwin Newport had light brown hair and a face that was usually donned with a smirk from what Severus could remember for their days at Hogwarts together, now his eyes darted back and forth scanning the dark forest. The masked man only shook his head, pointing at his throat.

"How exactly do you know him?" Penelope asked Barty, in a thick deep accent, pointing at Severus.

"He was committed for a quadruple homicide for two years until they released him,"

"Because I didn't do any of them."

"Supposedly," Baldwin said offering a small smug smirk before a snapping twig made him twitch.

"The times didn't match up or something." Barty continued to smirk, making up for Baldwin's lack of arrogance, "My father still thinks you did it, at least some of them, but of course there was no way of proving it, given you pleaded innocent."

Severus was starting to get really sick about hearing about Barty's father.

"You know, it's funny that for a man whose father's in law enforcement, you choose to be a Death Eater."

Barty was unabashed, continuing to smirk, "He's great at his job, not that great a father."

So daddy issues. Great.

"Look, is this a suicide mission, boy?" Phillip booming voice asked, leaning towards Severus

"No, not if you listen to Shylock." As much as he hated to admit it, Shylock was the biggest threat to these people right now.

"And what about while we're doing are mission?"

"Well, I don't know much about that, you'll have to wait for Shylock." He finished, speaking to the forest. He hoped it would make his siblings appear but it took them another half an hour to appear, Selina limping slightly, holding her left arm with her right. 'Painful and slowly doesn't even begin to describe how you'll die Shylock.'

"I see you have all made yourselves comfortable." Shylock said approaching, Victoria and Baldwin reached for their masks, just in case.

"They've been asking what exactly we're doing here Shylock?" the others of the group gave him worried looks.

"Like I said, we are to make peace and more importantly connections between us and the French wizarding community, the Raelian," Shylock spat out the name.

'A cult, a bunch of killers,' Severus thought disdainly but then again what exactly were they?

"Your job is to basically boost our numbers, they're less likely to kill many people and to listen to what I say. We will be here for around five days, two days getting there, three days working out arrangements," Shylock smiled, his teeth looking sharper and pointed in the fireball, staring down at them all like prey. "Do as I say and you'll live."


	4. Chapter 4

The rest of the night was uneasy, mainly for Shylock's dramatic tone when he'd spoken to them, as if he thought this was all hilarious, putting them, or at least Severus on edge. But also because no one had any clothes to change into, they all seemed clueless and fumbled awkwardly about the tent, no one wanting to either sleep naked or fully clothed. In the end Penelope, the Scottish red head, decided first, stripping down to her bra and pants. She began to climb into a top bunk, her fatty thighs shaking with each step before jumping down again and punching Baldwin in the face for wolf whistling. That made Severus stop staring. He decided to sleep in his black cloak, wishing his normal clothes hadn't been left on a cold cliff top in England. He climbed onto a top bunk, watching the fireball grow dim through the still open tent flap. A hand grasped at his mattress making him jump, it continued to hit the bed searching for him. Knowing it could only be Selina, he held out his hand to her which she grasped tightly.

"Night, night Sev."

"Night Selina."

 

The field stretch as far as the eye could see, rolling hills of lush tall grass that swayed in a gentle breeze that Severus couldn't feel. In bending grass tuffs, nibbling at the long stems were Muggles, pink flesh spotted with patches of rough brown fur, their long fleshy ears drooping down the sides of their faces, hopping around awkwardly on their legs. A couple close to him looked up at him and he could see their small square pink noses and whiskers yet their eyes were still round and human-like, oddly out of place on their deformed faces. They stared at him for a few moments longer before going back to grazing. It was like he was in a bubble, the grass parting for him before his legs could touch it as he walked through the unending field of uninterested Muggles.

A sudden echoing bang made the Muggles all look up, standing up on their knees, though Severus felt nothing, knowing that whatever it was wouldn't hurt him. The uproar started off in the far distance; the loud bangs of gunshots, the squeals of Muggles the sound of flesh hitting stone. Then he saw them, black specks on the horizon, cackling madly as they grabbed the dumbfounded muggles, the sound of gunshots signalling the slaughter that was happening. The muggles surrounding him started to scurry away, some hopping away on all fours, some running, but the hunters were fast and soon were shooting at muggles around Severus, some close enough to holding them down, crushing their necks and skulls with boots and bats. The animalistic squealing turned into a ruckus of human screaming as everyone he'd ever known massacred the defenceless muggles that howled and cried but did nothing to stop their fate.

"Oi boy," it was his father, holding the shoulder of a blind old Muggle, a gun of the back of their head, "stop being such a pussy. It's just a rabbit." The blind man neck exploded outwards, blood and speckles of his flesh spattered the grass.

No can't you see, Severus wanted to yell, they're people.

"Don't worry Sev," Selina picked up a red faced balling baby, lifting it over her head "they're just animals." She brought it down with all her might.

"Is that really how you see me?"

The scene frozen and melted away as he turned around to face Selina, the real Selina. She was wearing a yellow dress, her hair long and curled, her face unblemished, glowing in this dream world.

"Um," his noise of confusion echoed around…. "where are we?" he asked noticing that they were no longer in the grassland.

Selina looked around the black abyss that they were somehow standing on and shrugged, "I don't know, I sometimes bring Shylock here when he has nightmares."

"Shylock has nightmares?"

"I think we all do."

Selina started skipping away from him, he followed slightly behind, watching the only light source dance ahead of him.

"Do you remember that rabbit?" he asked once she stopped, though it didn't look like they'd moved, the abyss being unchanging.

"Yep, dad smashed its head in. it wouldn't have lived anyway." She shrugged, "I'm surprised you actually cared about it," she added, almost questioningly.

"You were the one who cried."

"Yes but you are the one having nightmares about it."

"I'm having nightmares about more than that." He hadn't meant to say it out loud, "I guess if this is inside my head, then anything I think inside my head I say out loud."

Selina giggled, "yes you'll get used to it. It took me and Shylock a while."

"Yeah but…if this is real, how can you do this?"

"Um…I'm not sure, I can only do it when you're asleep, it's kind of cool." She grinned,

"How?"

"Well I learnt legilimency, it comes from that…I think," she laughed shyly, staring at her feet.

"This can't be real."

Selina shrugged, "believe what you want."

"So... when did you join? When did he make you join?"

"Not long after we killed mum and father. I think Shylock had been one of them for longer but he never said."

"Did they make- no don't think about it."

Selina shook her head exasperatedly, smiling sadly, "Probably, whatever it is you don't want to say."

He sighed, "you shouldn't be here."

"Maybe, but here I am."

"You don't have to, you could leave."

When she laughed it was cold and hard, "yes, I can just hand in my resignation and they'll just let me go."

"You could at least get away from Shylock, he's… you shouldn't…he deserves to die- God damit!"

Selina looked horrified, "he's our brother!"

"He's hurting you or…doing worse."

"He's just scared; I'm trying to help him. You should too."

"Just and Fair, still a Hufflepuff."

"Yes, but is that bad?"

"We're surrounded by murders, it's hardly what you need."

"I can take care of myself, I'm surprisingly clever."

"I know," he smiled, "I will kill him. God this is annoying."

"Why?" she whined, making Severus feel unjustly guilty,

"He's hurt you," as she opened her mouth to argue he added, "he's the reason I went to Azkaban, just because he needs to kill someone to get off!"

"No, it's…not like that, he…the Professor knew something, nothing bad, what Shylock is doing isn't illegal just…people would hate him if they knew."

"The professor knew…what?"

"I can't tell you," she looked panicked now, backing away into the abyss, leaving Severus to squint at her through the darkness.

"Wait Selina!"

"Get some sleep brother." She left, leaving only darkness.


	5. Chapter 5

It almost sounded peaceful outside, Severus was weakly aware of the fluttering tent flaps and bird songs as he woke gradually, tossing in the hard bed, the cold making him more aware that nothing was okay and he was on a suicide mission in France. He didn't know if that was a good thing or not. He stared at the brown cloth roof, deciding he didn't want to die without Johanna knowing where he'd gone. Not that she'd care. He tried to ignore the murderers and cult members around him, trying to just listen to the birds outside and the swaying trees, trying to be fine. He sat up finally unable to stay still any longer. He was the first up, everyone else was still asleep. He carefully stepped down the ladder, jumping to the floor. Selina was in one of the camp beds with Shylock, her cloak and mask beside the bed. They almost looked happy and content, Selina curled into Shylock, her head buried in his still cloaked chest, Shylock's arms surrounding her, his chin resting on the top of her head. He sighed, vaguely remembering dreaming of Selina. Something about rabbits and Professor Upton. He shook his head, too tired to dwell on dreams. He turned around, rubbing his eyes to rid them of sleep to find that the nonspeaking still masked man had been sleeping below him. He was pretty sure the man was still asleep but with the mask still on it was impossible to tell. He quickly turned away and hurried out of the tent. It was beautiful out, with the birds singing over one another as if in competition. He sat on the burnt now cold ground where Shylock's fireball had been and he sighed, trying to enjoy how peaceful it was out, trying in vain to ignore the tent of psycho behind him. He had never been outside of England, except to go to Hogwarts and as a child he had never even gone to the seaside, but frankly he'd decided the sea wasn't for him after his long stay in Azkaban. It all felt, at this moment, like a strangely calm getaway that he'd been wrapped into. He wished it was something like that as he watched the brown autumn leaves rustle on the floor and sweep down from the trees. The morning sun made the trees glowing orange, creating long stretching shadows, that patterned the ground with yellow and black. He laid his hands out behind him and watched the birds above as they flew between the trees, bobbing their heads as they sung. They were calming to watch until Baldwin sat down beside him.

"What do you want Baldwin?"

"What? I woke up. Is it a crime to sit down?" he held his legs to his chest, pouting slightly. Baldwin had been in Ravenclaw, who Severus had known in passing, he had thought he was alright until they to do a charms project together in fourth year. He found this new scared version was much more tolerable.

"So…what are you doing here?" Baldwin asked, after a pause.

He sighed, still wanted to constantly talk though, "I thought that would be obvious."

"Did you really not kill them?"

Why did he need to bring that up?

Severus turned and stared at Baldwin for a couple of seconds before saying quietly, "Do you want to find out?"

Baldwin stood, as if to run but decided against it, merely fumbling with his black cloak before crouching down again.

"I mean…when they arrested you…"

Severus rubbed the bridge of his nose, he didn't want to be reminded. The 16th of June had the last day he could remember being happy, instead being followed by the ghosts of crimes he didn't commit.

"Innocent people don't run."

'How true.'

"I had no money or recognisable name, why would they listen to my side?" he crumpled a leaf beside him before muttering, "Did you see me getting arrested?"

"I think everyone did, or at least heard you screaming. To be fair it was pretty scary to watch, they were just dragging you away…I had never seen Dumbledore look so angry."

'He never lifted a finger, he could have saved me, seen into my mind and seen that I was innocent...mostly anyway.'

They sat in what would have been blissful silence, as if not for Severus replaying the scene over and over in his head. He tried to forget about it, not wanting to have another stupid fit in front of anyone.

"Please stop!"

No, he wasn't about to do this. He put his hands to his ears.

"Fucking-ah! I-I didn't do it!"

The men weren't listen, their grasps on his arm growing painfully tight as they forced him through the court yard.

Why hadn't he fought back?

Faces, so many faces, just…watching. He felt his face burn as tears ran pathetically down. He started to scream, whether out of fear or angry he didn't know. He just wanted someone, anyoneto stop him from being throw in some hole.

He deserved it.

The snapping of twigs brought him back, gasping heavily as if he'd been drowned. Luckily Baldwin had a similar reaction, jumping up with a short yelp, brandishing his wand. But out of the trees, the sun glowing on its back, plodded a short stag, sniffing at the ground and overturning the leaves with its stout antlers.

"It's only a deer," he said, still taking large breaths. Baldwin refused to lower his shaking wand. Severus hit him, as the deer moved closer to them in search of food.

"Why isn't it running?" Baldwin hissed.

"Wards most likely," Severus whispered, "it can't see us."

It wandered closer. Once again finding the nature captivating to look at he walked towards the deer, as it got closer to the wards. He watched it as it chewed, almost looking at him through the wards, it's eyes slowly blinking. He wanted to reach out and touch it when it suddenly screeched, rearing up. He stepped back hurriedly, thinking he done something, to see a perfectly circular hole, digging through the animal's chest. He turned around to see Shylock watching the deer with mild curiosity.

"Why?" Severus got out, watching the deer stumble to the floor. Shylock said nothing but drag the deer through his wards and take out a knife to skin it.

The morning, like the night was incredibly uncomfortable, no one wanting to talk and hesitantly eating the deer. However, Severus felt a burning question rise up.

"Why? Why did you do it?" he asked looking at Shylock.

Shylock didn't need to ask what he was talking about, "Upton knew too much, I need him to keep his mouth shut permanently."

"About what?"

"Don't worry brother. For once, nothing illegal,"

Severus furrowed his brow, Selina had said that to him in his dream. He looked at his sister who winked at him with a slight smile. She had refused to touch the deer. Okay, now he was confused. He remained silent though not wanting to say anything to Selina in front of Shylock. He continued to try his best to eat the barely cooked meat, knowing he wouldn't be eating for the rest of the day, but hardly made head way by the time Shylock had finished. He stood up flicking his wand at the tent which repacked itself and picked up his bag.

"Let's move."


	6. Chapter 6

He decided after five hours of walking that he hated the activity. It was tedious and unchallenging, Selina and Shylock were walking at the head of the group and Severus felt some overwhelming childish that made him stay at the back with only his thoughts for company. And past experience had showed that never ended well. They didn't eat anything else for the rest of the day, something Severus was used to but those around him wouldn't stop complaining about.

"I'm mean, you'd think they'd bring food for all of us."

Baldwin for some reason still thought Severus wouldn't hex him if he kept talking to him.

"Surely they expect us to battle these Frenchmen, can't do it if we're hungry, battle on an empty stomach is very bad."

Severus tried to block him out but the whiny voice kept penetrating his defences. He sighed, placing his wand in his mouth to drink. The magicked water was warm and tasted of wood but it was all he had at the moment. Baldwin continued to talk, Severus thought it had to be a nerve thing, coupled with the twitching and jumping at every sound. However, Severus was hardly a Samaritan and idly wondered if he could get Shylock to make the man shut up. In the end Severus found himself getting too tired to do anything but speed ahead of the man, squeezing himself between Victoria and the still masked man.

"Hello Severus," Victoria said smiling. She was stumbling over roots as she walked and had a thin sheen of sweat on her forehead, possibly not used to the physical exercise.

"Victoria," he said at the other man for a second still not knowing his name.

"Alucard." Victoria said, stroking the much taller silent man's arm, "his name's Alucard."

"Hm, I see." Severus said, because there wasn't else to do seeing as Alucard didn't seem inclined to speak.

Victoria laughed slightly, "he's mute, it's you dear."

Severus stared at Victoria, at her smooth unblemished black face and wondered how old she was to think it was appropriate to call him 'dear'.

"I see," he repeated, "you two know each other?" he felt forced to make conversation now, or else move forward even more to join the slightly skipping Barty, he probably would end up killing someone. 'It would make Shylock proud.' At least Victoria was nicer to listen to,

"Yes, we went Hogwarts together, before your time of course, both in Ravenclaw." She tittered, "probably unusual given what we're doing."

"I think it's unusual you are here regardless."

Victoria furrowed her brow at him, making him wish he could disappear and never speak again. He wondered how Alucard had done it.

"I mean…well…you don't seem like the type...look at my brother." He gave her a small smile, nervously looking at Alucard out of the corner of his eye.

"Well…I suppose not, but it makes sense, we shouldn't have to cower to muggles, we force with prejudice upon ourselves, forcing ourselves to hide and it's not right."

She was right, he knew that and nodded enthusiastically as she spoke. It was just unfortunate she'd made the mistake to join this company. They continued to walk Victoria speaking calm in a voice that sounded like his mother's when she talked him to sleep. He learnt that Alucard had become mute after being attack as a child. Victoria hadn't told him by who and kept giving Alucard looks for permission Severus couldn't see he was giving. He hadn't been able to control his magic and had burnt and killed his attacker as well burning the lower half of his face and throat. She continued to talk to help the time pass and Severus found it less annoying than Baldwin's constant yapping. They stopped abruptly as the day drew cold and the sky bled red.

"We are nearing their location," Shylock said turning slightly, placing his mask on with Selina following suit, "just be ready…just in case."

He was smirking again, Severus could tell, he wanted to punch him. He put on his mask and only then had an obvious thought,

"Can you speak French?" he asked Victoria, his voice slightly muffled by the mask. She shook her head and Severus nearly turned to Alucard before looking at his siblings. He knew neither of them could. And if Baldwin could he would have been showing off before instead of complaining. That was six out of nine who were non-French speakers and he doubted the other three could. What was Shylock and, more importantly, the Dark Lord playing at?


	7. Chapter 7

After days spent in the forest, the small track leading up to the collection of farm buildings looked like paradise. They were approached, as they reached the small wooden gate, by a man dressed in a bright white cloak. They stopped as they came to meet him on the other side of the fence, the man staring at Shylock for a moment before taking down his hood revealing his bald head and- oh no. Even the most snobbish of purebloods would be aware of the connotation that came with the swastika on the man forehead.

"Nous avons attendu pour vous," the man said in French, opening the gate, "S'il vous plaît venir à travers,"

"Speak English," Shylock snapped at the man as they went through the gate, "I'm well aware you can."

The man's mouth twitched as well as his right hand, instinctively wanting to reach for his wand. However, this was only for a moment before he beamed at them, something Severus found more terrifying than if he had tried to curse them.

"Of course. These will lead you to your room," he said in perfect English, snapping his fingers at three figures that had been standing in the shade of the nearest building. As they approached Severus could see that they were three dirt covered women, their hair crudely cut and only wearing a brown sag like house elves. Severus couldn't help but stare as the women led the way down the track further and into a tall stone barn turned into living quarters, wondering what was going on with them until he saw the capital M burnt into the back of their necks.

Oh.

He felt like he needed to throw up and given how harshly Victoria was breathing beside him, he wasn't the only one who had realised. One of them opened one of the several doors of the first floor, standing aside to let them shuffle in, none of them wanting to be near the beaten enslaved muggle. However as one of the company came through the door, they dragged their open palm across her breasts before walking in. Severus didn't want to guess who it had been. He was the last in as the muggle bowed herself out, closing the door.

"Now what?" the older man, Phillip Chance asked, taking off his mask, sweating profusely.

Shylock turned his head on one side, still masked but his height gave it away his identity. Shylock started to march forward, Severus wincing thinking he was going to kill Phillip, but instead Shylock stormed out the door, slamming it behind him. Now all eyes turned to Selina, who had taken off her mask and fiddling with it. Stupidly, Severus decided that he'd take charge instead.

"Everyone pick a bed." He said as confidently as he could, gesturing at the ten single bed covered in crisp white sheets, "we could be here for a while."

When none of them moved he felt a little annoyed and strode over to Selina, taking her over to a bed sitting her down and herself on the other side.

"You okay?"

She nodded, her face grey, rubbing her hooked nose. "So…Nazis."

"Yep." He said nodding, "Nazis."

Neither of them knew what to say after that, lying on separate beds, fingers slightly intertwined, while the other moved around the long room. He felt very tired, it was all going very fast, yet he didn't know what else he had expected. It was one confusing mess and he was happy for a moment of silence with his sister. Shylock came back eventually, breaking Severus' blissful peace. Behind him were more of muggles bearing food. Selina immediately sat up having had no food that morning, taking a steaming bowl of soup and gulped it down: the spoon falling the floor and the soup dribbling out of her mouth. Severus took his own bowl, muttering a thank you to the muggle, who ignored him. He felt sick again, having been harshly reminded of the company he was keeping and only moved the green soup around in its bowl.

"You better eat up."

He jumped as Shylock towered over him, "it's the only thing you'll tonight." Shylock turned to the rest of them, "negotiations are happening tonight. And you'll all will be standing guard for me and Selina."

He had to be joking.

 

Apparently not. He supposed they did indeed look menacing all dressed in cloaks and masks, they were silent guards waiting to attack. Well that was the impression. Severus just felt like laughing at the preposterous situation, given if they were attacked he expected they'd all scatter like children. Yet somehow he managed to contain himself instead watching his brother and sister talk in muttered tones in front of him. He was slowly getting bored but didn't really want to fidget afraid he would actually lose his composure. What kind of 'strong warrior' fidgeted? He wished he could hear the conversation that was so important for their cause but it was spoken in whispers and mostly in French as the neo-Nazis spoke in harsh tone amongst themselves. They were eating some sort of fish on fine silver, making Severus wished he had more than soup, his stomach growling. He stared at his siblings; Selina looking actually more confident than Shylock who was focusing on using his cutlery as daintily as possible. Okay, he may laugh at that.

Given how Selina's expression turned sour an hour in, he guessed it wasn't going well. Shylock had given up on his food as Selina grabbed his knee and stayed talking as well. Selina now looked angry as the French spoke to them while Shylock wasn't doing anything. He looked bored, as if he didn't care, but Shylock did seem like the kind of person to be incredibly loyal to the Dark Lord. While Shylock may pretend otherwise, he was ruled by his emotions, Severus had scars to prove that. Finally, it was over, Shylock and Selina bowed at their hosts and they travelled back to their rooms. Once Victoria, the smallest of them, closed the door and Shylock flicked his wand at the four walls and he screamed. Everyone jumped back, a couple reaching for their wands. For a moment, Severus thought his brother had had a better grip on his emotion than he gave him credit for until he saw the red welts and blisters that had formed on Shylock's hands. He ran forward, wand out, grabbing one of his brother hands. He held it dumbfounded as they stared to bleed, Shylock still roaring in pain, completely lost at what to do.

"Severus move!"

He let go as Selina shoved him aside, settling Shylock down. He stood still, unable to move as his heart pounded. His brother had been hurt, by what he had no idea and how to fix he was clueless about too. Selina was doing casting spells on the hands, wrapping a sheath of light around his hands that settled for a moment before disappearing. Soon his cries when to pants as Severus also fell to a bed, watching small tears fall from his brother's eyes.

"Did they curse the cutlery?" the Scottish woman, Penelope asked, wand out.

"No," Shylock growled, "silver."

Silver? His brother was allergic to silver. His eyes fell to the floor thinking on his brother's words about why he'd killed the Professor. Shylock was lying himself back down, Selina casting her spells on the corners of his mouth where the cutlery had burnt.

"So," Severus started and immediately Shylock turned to face him, sharp pointed teeth almost bared, "silver huh? I'd kill someone too if they knew I was a half breed."

He should have known not to taunt Shylock and certainly damned himself as Shylock began to chuckle. He snapped Selina's wand arm in his two hands twisting it, making her give a short gasp of pain.

"Funny brother." Shylock whispered, clenching Selina's arm, "but I think you're quite tired, perhaps it's time for you to sleep, hm?"

Severus stared a beat long at them before turning over, pulse beat against his temple.


	8. Chapter 8

Severus woke up yawning and trying to rub the sleep from his eyes mildly wondering if he was still dreaming as he saw smoke fall from the ceiling. However, as he woke up more and his eyes grew accustomed to the early morning light, he realised the smoke was definitely real and settling on the bed next to him. He watched, stilled, trying to reach for his wand, without alerting the smoke to his presence. It laid upon the bed, a few of its tendrils crept up the sides of the bed, massing of a thick black blob. It continued to swirl, curling here, thinning there until it made a crude human form. The black smoke vanished, swept away on a non-existent breeze, revealing his sister stretching on the bed. He continued to watch, in silence, refusing to believe what he had just seen. Selina opened her eyes and smiled at her brother, before her face dropped in horror and put a hasty finger to her mouth. He turned over again, ignoring Selina's outstretched arm. He was dreaming, he had to be.

He hadn't been. It was all he could think about as he splashed water into his face a few hours. She couldn't apparate, even if he hadn't tried himself, he could feel the magical limits in the air, forcing his magical core to be restricted slightly. So how had she done that? Not only that, the magic she had used was like nothing he'd ever seen before. Selina had always been one to invent new spells, but this seemed…too new. He stepped out, looking down at Selina, who was firmly staring at floor. He had to ask, ask if what he'd seen was real. But before he could get close to her, Shylock in step in his pace, speaking to the group.

"Chance, Newport, you're with me. Everyone else, try not to get lost."

The two Death Eaters followed Shylock out. A heartbeat after the door closed, Selina also got up and strode down as well. Silence fell, Severus clueless of what to do. He was hit with memories of the first night in the dorms. No one wanted to start talking, but everyone was bored stiffless without it. He scuffed his boots, muttering curses under his breath.

"Don't get lost."

He looked up and saw Barty smirking at Penelope, "doesn't mean we can't explore."

He shrugged at the Scottish woman and turned around to the rest of them.

"Yeah, he didn't say we couldn't move, doesn't mean we should," Victoria said, Barty paying her no attention as he and the Scottish woman headed out the door. Victoria grunted in exasperation and flapped her arms.

"Children."

He nodded slowly, before also heading towards the door.

"Where are you going?" she groaned,

"I ain't following Nazi orders."

"They're your brother's orders."

"I stand by what I said."

Severus was on edge. He had past many of the men here and yet, he was still waiting for the moment someone told him what he was doing was punishable by death. He couldn't find Barty or Penelope and although he wasn't fond of either he would have preferred it to being alone. He continued to walk down in the basement of the building they were in not wanting to go outside. It reminded him of the dungeons at Hogwarts, bathed in blue dingy light, the walls dripping slightly with water, it even had the occasional disturbing piece of artwork. As he walked pass a piece of a woman bathing in acid surrounded by rotting corpses, he heard a scuffle of papers being moved in the next room. He froze. He had yet to come across anyone since making his descent and he wanted it to stay that way. He strained to hear what was going on in the next room. Draws were now being opened, more papers being moved then a frustrated sigh. He furrowed his brow, and leaned slightly, to looking through the open door.

"Selina?"

Papers went flying and Selina yelped, clasping her hands to her mouth.

"What are you doing down here?"

"Shh!" she cried through her hand. Slowly she took them away from her face as Severus stepped into the room which was stacked high with drawers and desks over flowing with scrolls.

"What are you doing down here?" she asked.

"Just…exploring. What are you doing?"

She shook her head, "I can't tell you."

"Bullshit!"

She flinched.

"No more telling secrets Selina. What the hell is going on?"

"I can't he'll kill us."

"What happened this morning?"

She started muttering to herself, tears welling up.

"Tell me!"

"You were trying to prefect it to, the ability to travel without appration."

Severus felt his anger drain as he was filled with dread.

"What did you do?"

"I succeed that's what."

She wouldn't stop screaming, her skin bubbling and cracking as he stared on in horror unable to stop it. "I didn't."

"What?"

"It didn't work," he quickly corrected himself, yet he couldn't help his heart quickening at Selina staring directly at his eyes. Footsteps made them both jumped; Severus grabbing Selina's shoulders and pulling her down so they were both hidden by the desk. She too put her hand on him and suddenly they were floating. They drifted upwards towards the ceiling and passed through it like it was water. He gripped her tighter though wasn't sure he had hands anymore. They continued through the building passing through people, walls and tables alike at a leisurely pace. Finally, they came back to they're room and floated passed it still into the bathroom. Severus dropped to the floor when solid once more, stumbling into the sink.

"Wha-what?"

"Its fine. It's fine." She stroked his shaking arm, as he turned to face the sink, feeling the need to throw up.

"You're using demon magic." He whispered.

"You wanted to use it too."

"Not like this! What did you sacrifice?"

"Nothing I told-"

The door of the other room opened loudly followed by harsh French yelling and something exploding. They both drew their wands and stepped out. Three Frenchmen stood in the doorway, wands out as well, fighting off Alucard who was choking out cries as he fought the men hand to hand. As they rushed through the door, Alucard fell, crashing into the floorboards as a lifeless heap. He started firing on instinct, stupefying one of them and ducking out of the way of green light. Selina was using wandless magic, dancing with the sheets of light she sent at the men. However, the older men worked better together and when one of them caused deep cuts across Severus shoulder, another took advantage of Selina's weakness and bound her hand. Severus clutched his shoulder, hissing at the pain as Selina knelt down beside him, before she lost her balance. With the men keeping their wands trained on the pair, Severus looked around the room. The door was off its hinges and one of the far windows was shattered where they had missed Alucard. By his still body lay another one. Victoria's dull eyes stared at the wall next to Severus her arm awkwardly crumpled under her front. More footsteps could be heard from the corridor along with a mess of French and English shouting.

"You come here into our home. And tear it apart."

Shylock was pushed through the door and two men who had been with him quickly following. Severus could see his brother's red face, his sharp teeth bared in anger as he got up.

"I don't know what you're talking about." He gritted out. One of the men started furiously pointing at Victoria, shouting in French. Severus took hold over Selina's shaking shoulders.

"We're moving back," he informed her. She nodded quickly before he fully wrapped his good arm around her neck, pulling them back into the bathroom. The quick movement made all wands turn to them but they were immediately forgotten about as Shylock lunged at one of them, tearing out his neck. Severus shut the door, sealing its lock and casting a shield over it.

"Selina you have to get us out of here!" he whispered hurriedly as he helped her free herself.

"Not without Shylock."

"Selina-"

"He's out brother!" she stood, shaking her head at him before disappearing into smoke. She pressed herself against the wall, her tendrils exploring the wall before following the main mass through the wall. The door exploded inwards against the shield, with such force that the floorboards underneath it, cracked. He held his wand out at the ready, unsure how long his shield could hold, afraid to cast it on the walls as he waited for Selina. It didn't take long, the smoke returning through the wall agonisingly slow, its size considerably bigger. As soon as it was fully through the wall Selina reappeared, crashing her back into the side of the bath, holding a still Shylock. He didn't waste any time, grabbing hold of her and once more found himself floating as nothing more than smoke.


	9. Chapter 9

They landed in the forest, Severus skidding over the dirt ground. Panting and sweaty, he stumbled to his feet, searching the floor for Selina. It took him an alarmingly long time to find her and Shylock a foot away from him. Shylock was face down on the ground, Selina weakly moving, trying to remove her arm from underneath her brother.

"Selina."

He collapsed on to his knees and lifted his brother's head to free Selina. Painfully awkwardly she got up to take Shylock's pulse but wobbled on her knees and fell on his chest.

"Here," Severus leaned over and checked his brother's neck, "he has a pulse," he informed her, his heart feeling heavy.

"How far away are we, Selina?" he asked looking around the forest, but it all looked so similar, he couldn't get his bearings.

"…Don't…know," she slurred and her breathing deepened.

"Selina? Selina!" he shook her shoulder but she was limp. Now he was stuck with two unconscious siblings, exhausted himself.

Shit.

He couldn't carry them, but now finally being out of the heavy wards he felt lighter and free, his magical aura exploding like wings. He just to hope the sudden freedom of magic would be enough. He clung to them: lifting Shylock again and holding them against his chest. He thought of cold rooms and shaking flimsy window. He tried to remember walking down creaking stairs: only stepping on the right side of the sixth step and completely missing the second to last one. The small merge meals that seemed smaller after starting Hogwarts. Of shouting voices, and intertwining legs with Selina under ragged sheets until a coarse pillow separated them as they both awkwardly went through puberty. He thought as best he could of the memories of home, the feeling of stubborn pride of his shithole house fill every fibre of him being until he felt the need to return home. He had to go home.

'No place like home,' he thought wirily, before disappearing with a snap.

Everything hurt. His head was pounding and the shouting voices downstairs weren't helping. He curled inwards, moving over slightly to the receding warm spot on the other side of the bed.

'Where is Johanna?' he thought wrapping the ragged sheet around his shoulders trying to ignore his shouting parents. Wait. He opened his eyes and immediately closed them bright sunlight pouring through his bedroom window. Johanna had never been to his parents' house and given they were dead, they couldn't be fighting. He was filled with dread and images of ghouls fighting for entirety.

'Well at least my parents are consistent.' He slowly got out of the bed and crept to the door.

"He'll kill us Shylock!"

"He'll kill us anyway; we've wasted too much time."

He sighed in relief. He had gotten Selina and Shylock home from France. He was surprised he'd actually succeeded. He opened door and headed to his parents' room where the voices were actually coming from and knocked hesitantly on the door as Selina muttered her nonsense worries. She stopped abruptly and flung the door open, looking him up and down as if she didn't really think it could be him.

"Oh thank God you're awake!" She flung her arm over him but quickly released him as he stumbled.

"How long was I asleep?" he asked as she helped him into the room. Shylock was lying on top of the covers of their parents bed, his face incredibly pale and looking frustrated.

"A day, maybe a little longer, I don't know. I wasn't awake when we got here."

"Which is why we need to get back."

"To France?" Severus asked his brother.

"To the Dark Lord."

Dreaded silence filled the room as Severus realised what they had been talking about.

"Good to see you're alive brother." He deadpanned.

Shylock sneered, "it'll take more than that to kill me."

'Yes, a silver bullet would do it.'

"I still don't know what spell it was. We don't know it's lasting effects." Selina muttered.

"And staying here will do wonders won't it?"

"You can't even stand!"

Something dangerous flickered across his brother's face, as he pushed himself off the bed to stand and though he was wobbling furiously he was indeed standing unaided.

"How long do you think it'll be before he realised it was a failure. He will come for us."

'he'll try and hurt Johanna.'

"He has a point." Severus muttered

"What?" Selina turned around to face him.

"He'll find us. He's stronger than us right?"

Shylock gave him a quick nod before Severus continued, "he'll find us, kill us, kill everyone around us if we betray him."

"We're not betraying him."

"Do you think he'll like runners, cowards?" Shylock growled.

She flinched at the word.

"You're both insane." She whispered. Severus took her shoulders and squeezed them reassuringly.

"He won't kill us if we return."

"You don't know what he'll do." She whispered before muttering again. She stopped as Shylock limped his way over. Now stuck between her two brothers she looked helplessly at Severus before sighing at the floor.

"You are both insane."

She grabbed their shoulders and they were gone.

Severus couldn't be too sure if Selina had been right or not. On the one hand, if they had indeed stayed away from the Dark Lord they would have been tortured either way. On the other hand, though, if he had known this would have been the pain he would have had to suffer through he too would have wanted to run. His bones were being burned under skin flesh, cooking him inside out. His spine twisted completely round until his back was permanently hunched under the curse. His feet were cut apart and he was forced to walk on his stumps through salt water. Worse than all of it was the anger he felt. He had had no idea of his siblings' true intentions, which was what they were being punished for, he didn't know why they had been out there and he still didn't know, as the Dark Lord cast the Cruciatus curse on him. His anger grew with the pain so much so that when it was finally let up, he stood on his knees seething.

"I knew nothing of my siblings' intentions! How was I to know how to please you, my Lord, if you refuse tell me everything!"

"No…" he heard Selina mutter thickly her teeth stained in blood but he didn't care as the Dark Lord approached him, Severus breathing hard through his nose, enraged.

"Very well Severus," the Dark Lord said, floaty, "I will punish you for what you have done and punish them for what they have done. Shylock?"

Shylock, who had been untouched since he had informed the Dark Lord of what had happened, looked up.

"Bring Selina over here."

Shylock spared Severus half a look, his face unguarded and filled with fear, before he grabbed Selina by the collar of her cloak and pulled her in front of Severus. Selina had started muttering, giving her eldest brother pleading looks as she shook her head vigorously. Shylock ignored her, looking at the Dark Lord who gave him a curt nod. That was when the screaming started, Severus couldn't see the curses that Shylock hurled at their sister only could see the blood, tears and cuts appear on her face and body. The screaming of his little sister was worse than any torture and as he tried to move forward he found that he was held down by a curse he hadn't realised had been cast. All he could do was press himself against the boundaries of the curse, watching in muted horror as his sister begged for her life. Shylock stumbled, still weak from whatever curse had been sent his way and fell down beside Selina. He completely forgot his wand and began beating the small girl. She curled in on herself, whimpering into her hands as Shylock clawed his sharp nails along the back of her neck. Shylock had to be enjoying this, hurting their little sister. It was all Severus could focus on to distract from the screams and the blood as Shylock torn at her skin and clothes, all that could distracting from that fact it was his fault she had relented to them coming here.


	10. Chapter 10

He looked down at his hands as he knelt in the hallway of the warded house. All he could see was red; the glowing bands around with wrists only made the blood glisten. The more he intently stared down at them, the more he was sure there was still charred melted chunks of flesh painting them from all those years ago. Back then, he didn't think he could ever rid himself of the gore, not matter how many times he washed his hands. Even after he had rub them raw, he could still smell the overcooked flesh on them. Now, it had come back, only now it was blood dripping from his hands, his sister's blood. He had barely been released from where he knelt, before he rushed over to stop the chaos in front of him. He got to her and placed his hands around her bleeding face, frozen, as if only realising what he had been seeing was truly happening, when he was blasted back and told to return to Dumbledore, to tell him strict details of what had happened. He had indeed returned, back to Johanna's house, but he wasn't sure if he was safe to speak almost certain he would curse the closest living thing. A droplet of blood fell to the floorboard with a light patter: his hands began to shake and his vision darkened as tears fell from his eyes.

"Is that blood?"

He looked up to see Black staring at Severus the hallway in fear and disbelief, his eyes bulging at the sight of the blood. He was sorely tempted to actually kill Black, to make his day, but when Johanna appeared behind him, holding Phoenix to her shoulder so she couldn't the blood on her father's hands, all fight left him.

"I need to speak to Dumbledore," he said as his eyes started burning again.

"Who did you kill?"

"NOW!"

Black still didn't move, until Johanna grabbed him and pulled him back into the kitchen as Severus started crying into his hands, that were stained in his little sister's blood.

"He wants me to tell you that we went to Nice, France. That we tried to get supporters from this…neo-Nazi wizarding community." Severus was shaking, the dried blood making his hands itch but he tried to restrain from scratching them as he sat in the kitchen with Dumbledore. "he didn't want me to tell you that…Shylock, my brother, who had been leading us, wasn't there to gain supporters. I don't even think the Dark Lord wanted them to join forces. He looking for something, some document or something like that but he refused to tell me what it was. But they found only me and Shylock made it back alive."

Dumbledore nodded thoughtfully offering no suggestions.

"And he wants me to find out something useful from you."

"Of course Tom does," Dumbledore said, amused. Severus winced at the casual name.

"Well I'm sure you'll find something in the coming weeks to tell him."

Severus felt empty, rubbing his hands.

"Is that all you have to tell me?"

Severus looked up and opened his mouth.

"Severus, I can't help you if you don't tell me everything."

He closed his mouth again and laid his hands down on the table to stop them from shaking.

"Selina, my sister, she was one too, they tortured her." He ended whispering. Dumbledore forward and for a brief moment Severus thought he was going to take his blood stained hands, but Dumbledore just casted them clean of blood. Severus rested his fist again his mouth and bit a finger. Dumbledore got up and walked around the table and laid a hand on his shoulder,

"Get some rest Severus. We'll talk later."

Severus took Dumbledore's advice. He got in the shower and stood head against the wall under the scalding hot water, trying to burn the smell of his dying sister off his body. He couldn't become angry at Dumbledore's calmness or how Johanna had avoided him since he arrived. All he could see was his sister's eyes, pleading before he had been forced away from her. All was lost, Selina was dead.


	11. Chapter 11

Dead, dead, dead, dead, dead. Over and over the words and images spun in Severus' head as he stayed unmoving on his bed. He didn't know or care how long it had been, but his throat was parched and his eyes burned with tiredness so he imaged he had stayed awake all through the night. He couldn't sleep as every time he closed his eyes all he could see was her dead, dead dead. There was knock at the door. He mouthed 'come in' and realised he was too exhausted to even speak. He curled into a ball and closed his eyes.

Shylock had flayed parts of her cheek and neck with a curse, her strips of skin tangling in a bloody mess as her tears left red trails down the side of her face. She reached out a hand to his face, unable to move her fingers that had been crushed by Shylock's foot.

"Sev'!"

He jumped up, looking around wildly for Selina only to find Johanna leaning over him, a coffee on the bedside table. He collapsed back on the bed, staring at the cracks in the ceiling.

"Can you tell me what happened Sev'?"

She didn't normally call him Sev' unless she was worried about something.

"Dumbledore won't say," she continued.

After a pause, Severus shook his head. He didn't want to talk about it.

"Well can you at least tell me why you're like his?"

He turned away from her.

Johanna sighed, "Look, James has come home," he was slightly bemused at how little he felt about at the name, "so Sirius is going out with him tonight, leaving me with the kids. You can help me look after them?" she said it almost shyly. He looked up at her to see her rubbing her forearm anxiously. He nodded, wanting to be left alone. It would probably would do him some good to be with Phoenix. She, of course, was the one he was doing all of this for. The reason Selina was dead. He screwed up his eyes until he saw white.

A few hours later Severus heard the door slam before footsteps came up the stairs and Johanna knocking at his door.

"Come in." he barely said above a whisper.

"Sirius is gone."

When he didn't reply or move Johanna let out another exasperated sigh.

"Just come down stairs, I'll make you something."

After a moment of silence before the door creaked shut again. He thought she had left until he felt the bed lower. He flinched at Johanna brushing his hair away from his face.

"Did they make you kill again?" she asked softly.

He shook his head, "they made me watch."

"Well…it couldn't have been had bad then."

"It was…someone I knew."

She nodded, twirling his hair. Is this what he wanted? Yes, he wanted to enjoy this but he wanted his sister back more.

"Well…you have to get past it, I know you don't want to but…you have a daughter have you have to protect."

Johanna didn't know he had done all of this for Phoenix. But what was the point of protecting his daughter if he couldn't save his sister. Selina would have loved to meet Phoenix. She always loved children. He tried to turn away, but Johanna held him.

"Get up."

"Why?" he croaked.

"Because that's the only way you'll get over this. This is war. People die. You have to get up."

'we'll see what you'll say when your brother dies.' But still he listened to her and allowed her to steer him downstairs. The Black girl with the weird name that Severus couldn't bother to try and remember was still here, now playing with her food, smearing sauce all over her face and hands. She looked at him as he sat down on the opposite side of the table before quickly losing interest. Phoenix was sat in her baby chair, also making a mess of her food but at least tried to eat with a spoon. She waved at Severus, blabbering to herself. He gave her a weak smile as his heart clenched. He finally tore his eyes away from the girl as he heard Johanna pour his cold coffee down the sink.

"Hungry?" she asked, pointing at the saucepan that was lazily bubbling on the stove. He shook his head; sure he would throw up.

"Would you like something to drink then?"

"Alcohol if you have it." He whispered. She sighed again but opened a wooden cabinet above the sink and place a glass and bottle in front of him. It was firewhiskey, not as alcoholic as he wanted it but it would do. He ignored the glass and drank straight from the bottle, chugging it down until the burning in his throat became unbearable. He placed the bottle back down, spluttering.

"You know, I hate seeing you like this Severus." Johanna said absentmindedly as she tried to clean the Black girl who squirmed away from her.

"Never knew you cared."

"Well…I do…you're my friend."

Even if it wasn't what he wanted, the admittance still should have pleased him, yet he just dully nodded.

"Do you want to talk?" Johanna said worriedly, clearly having expected a better reaction out of Severus as well. He shook his head.

"Would you like me to talk about…something?"

He shrugged his shoulders, before nodding, "anything."

"Well, I passed with flying colours…obviously," she smirked but it quickly fell when Severus had no reaction. "I wanted to go straight into an apprenticeship but, er, having a kid with you doesn't help."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Hm?"

"Why didn't you me you were pregnant?"

Johanna looked down at the table, opening and closing her mouth, "truthfully, I didn't know, I was late obviously but that can just come from stress, I was sitting my NEWTS. I was worried, but I thought I was being silly. And when I found out…I didn't know how you'd take it. You were sixteen. I was scared. I was going to on the day-"

"When I was arrested."

She tilted her head, "how did you know?"

"Your brother told me."

She opened her mouth slightly, in confusion, "why would James-"

He was saved having to answer that as Phoenix slammed her bowl down repeatedly, to show her mother she had finished. Johanna got up and took the bowl from Phoenix, kissing her head. But as Johanna left to put it in the sink Phoenix came restless, trying to moving out of the chair, babbling in distress.

"Could you take her please?"

That got a reaction out of him. He turned around quickly giving Johanna a look that called her mad before hesitantly approaching the baby as if it would explode. She fidgeted as he lifted her and tried to turn mid-air. He clung to her, looking at Johanna for support who was watching in amusement. Finally, he had her securely wrapped in his arms and sitting on his legs. She looked up at him, her arms flailing as she touched his face. She continued to babble nonsense, no words coming out of her mouth, probably due to the pain. She'd stopped screaming long ago, her voice box broken, but she continued to open her mouth groaning as best she could, her arms reaching wildly around for Severus. The noise he must have made as he saw his sister dying again made Johanna scream, plucking Phoenix from his arms.

"She's dead. She's g-gone!" he sobbed into his now empty hands. How could he protect a baby if he couldn't protect his sister?

"No she's fine."

He shook his head, wailing, "they killed her. I didn't do anything!"

The Black girl had come over to his side, asking something, but Johanna pushed her away, leaning over Severus and grabbing his shoulder.

"Who? Who did they kill?"

"Selina! They killed my little baby sister!" he started screaming into her shoulder as she stroked his back, hushing him as Phoenix in her other arm took in fistful of his hair. But he felt none of it, he was still knelt in that room and all he could see was red.


	12. Chapter 12

"She's alive."

Severus stiffened as Shylock hugged him. He had been called to Death Eater meeting soon after Dumbledore's own one. This one was in a manor house that was very dimly lit in a room now filled with masked men and women, Shylock being one of them and had approach Severus when he appeared. His brother left him as soon as he arrived, leaving Severus with gut filled with hope that this wasn't some strange joke. He looked round at the rest of the Death Eaters and saw none of them running towards him.

"Severus." It was bizarre how similarly both the Dark Lord and Dumbledore sounded, both trying to sound conversational but it the end their voices made his heart stopped. He turned around as he headed towards the Dark Lord. Both of the meeting had meant appearating, one with Johanna and Black, one alone. While the Order's had definitely been warmer, he'd received a similar cold dismissal of the people in both. Everyone in the Order meeting avoided him, having no idea what he was doing here and Severus only guessing what Potter and Black had told those strangers. He assumed he knew more of the people at this meeting but everyone was wearing masks. He approached the Dark Lord, bowing.

"Come and sit Severus," he hissed, slowly gesturing at the seat beside him. At the Order's meeting he had sat at the back of the large living room, watching over the goings on, though it seemed pointless afterwards, as Dumbledore told him everything he could say to the Dark Lord. At the Dark Lord's meeting they sat in a green flame lit room at a long Mahoney table, Shylock a few seat down from Severus, or at least who he thought was. The meeting went rather the same the Order's had, they talked about the movements of the other side and their own, updating each group of their goings on. It was somewhat amusing the little details each side got wrong. But he stayed silent, once again looking down the row at Shylock. She was alive. Alive. But that could mean many things. Alive in a coma. Having lost all memory, in a vegetative state.

"…Nice."

He looked around at was speaking at the name of the French city.

"Luckily, we were able to escape afterwards, but I'm afraid all the other bodies were burnt." It was the kid's voice, Barty. Severus remembered him and the Scottish women had disappeared in the morning. Barty turned to look at him and Severus jumped looking away, hoping the kid wouldn't blame him for being left behind.

"Severus," the Dark Lord said beside him and Barty sat up straighter, "perhaps you could tell me what Dumbledore has been planning?"

The question sounded dangerous, like he was waiting Severus to come back with nothing. Luckily he was able to fill half an hour of information that Dumbledore had approved for him to use. Name and places of certain gatherings all in an aid to stop the Dark Lord and he was given them to the enemy. The meeting continued after he was done but once again he found he couldn't concentrated, sick with hope and fear at Selina's condition. He only knew it was over when a loud crack as the Dark Lord disappeared. He stared dumbly at the chair as others moved around him, until a hand fell on his shoulder.

"Come with me?" Shylock hissed. Severus had barely nodded before they too disappearated.


	13. Chapter 13

He knew where he was as soon as he landed. It was the Malfoy Manor that he had visited several times in the Christmas and Summer Holidays. He gave Shylock a confused look.

"The Dark Lord likes to keep his followers close together. Me and Selina were put with the Malfoys."

Severus looked at Shylock properly. His man had tortured their sister, but by the gritted way he said his words and the look he was giving, he seemed to think Severus had done it. Before he could ask anything or even punch Shylock across the face, a snap cracked through the house and he was standing behind Cissa who was holding tight onto Luc'. They both took a step back in shock but when Cissa realised he was actually there, she screamed in rage and he had to duck the curse she sent his way.

"You!"

He started backing away as Shylock cast a shield spell and Luc' grabbed her Cissa.

"I didn't kill her!"

"Cissa listen to him."

"I'm done listening," she cried her makeup running from her tears, "he killed my sister!"

"I didn't kill her, I swear! She was my friend!" his voice broke as he said it. Luc' finally got Cissa to face him as he started hurriedly whispering what Severus had told him.

"Then who did?" she hissed at her husband.

"I don't know yet," Severus spoke up, "but I will find them."

"And then what!?"

"I'll kill them."

The finality of what he said shocked Cissa and she lowered her wand, still glaring and still being held by Luc'.

"Come on," he steered her away from the brothers down through the left corridor, where he knew the drawing room was. Finally, Shylock let the shield down, still glaring at Severus.

He ignored it, "where is she?"

Shylock wrinkled his nose at Severus, "upstairs, but she'll-"

He didn't listen to the rest of what his treacherous brother had to storming out of the room and into the entrance hall before making his way up the stands, Shylock quickly following.

"She'll be sleeping," he continued,

"I'll be quiet."

They reached the upstairs floor, Severus keeping every room of the floor as his brother followed scoffing,

"She's under a lot of stress, she needs to rest."

"Shylock." He turned to face him, "I need to see her."

Shylock shook his head as his shoulders fell. It wasn't a no, more a sign of defeat, "two doors out."

As Severus put his hand on the handle, Shylock grabbed his wrist,

"I'll be waiting here, if I hear anything I don't like then I'll hurt you brother," 'like you heard her,' he wanted to say but bit his tongue and entered the room.

"Hey."

He felt like he was going to throw up. Not that she looked terrible. Her face was plastered with bandages covering the cursed wounds, her eyes were bloodshot and her skin was grey but she was smiling, placing the book that she had been reading down at her bedside. But after days thinking she was dead, Severus couldn't help but choke a sob.

"Aww, Severus," she opened her unbandaged arm to hug him, like he was the one who needed comforting. he accepted her hug, before sitting down on the bed with her.

"I thought…I thought-"

"Please Sev', I've survived worse." It hurt him that she had to survive worse. He held her close to him, shaking. She was here, he wasn't dreaming. But it didn't seem possible, it couldn't be. This was a lie, his sister be here, she was dead. He shook from the cold, that had to be it, he was still in prison. A place where he could never be happy again and Selina was still alive.

"Sev'."

That wasn't her, it could be.

"Sev', you need to calm down."

"No you're not-"

She placed a hand on his temple, which he flinched from as if she had burnt him.

"Shh, you're safe."

"I killed you."

"No honey, you've never done anything to hurt me."

No she was right; Shylock had done this. He was shaking again, but from anger, that Shylock could act so defensive of their sister, after being the one who had hurt her.

"Shylock…he…he," he stuttered, glaring sat the door.

"Hey, hey!" she shushed him, making him face her again, "it isn't his fault either."

"How can you say that? He's a monster."

"He's our brother."

He shook his head violently, "he's not my brother."

Now Selina's face changed, looking angry, "you don't get to choose your family."

She sighed, shaking her head.

"I'm sorry," he whispered not wanting her to be angry at her. She gave him a small smile, holding him close to her as he shifted onto the bed clinging tight to her.


	14. Chapter 14

Severus was still clinging to Selina when the door opened with a long drawn out creak. He refused to look up as his brother entered but when Shylock said nothing, he opened his eyes slightly. The Dark Lord stood at the foot of the bed still wearing his black robes with his hands behind his back. Severus instantly lunged for Selina's legs to cradle her in his arms away from her would-be torturer. But they were trapped underneath cover so he could only grip uselessly at them, as the Dark Lord watched him, his face unmoving. There was a moment of stillness as Severus held the exhausted sleeping Selina as the Dark Lord surveyed them.

"I'm not going to hurt the young Lady Snape."

Severus stayed still.

"I merely want to speak with you."

Severus realised later that the Dark Lord probably wanted him to move, to talk somewhere else. It probably would have helped Selina too, to Him away from her. But in Severus' panicked state all he could think was to keep her safe and by his side. So, when he did not move, the Dark Lord came to sit where Severus' knees were curled on the bed, the action seemed too human for the snake man to do.

"Tell me something Severus, what exactly would you like to do with your life?"

It was laughable, like he was with a career helper not a Dark Lord. What exactly did he mean? He decided to answer as truthfully and vaguely as possible.

"I always wanted to become a potion master."

"With any particular master?"

He shrugged, he had never thought about it before being arrested.

"I have several masters in my power, if you still wished to do so."

It made him flinch, the kindness that the man displayed, it had to be a trick.

"My Lord?" he said in confusion.

The man looked him up and down before hissing out, "Did you ever want power Severus?"

He was tempted to glare at the man, what kind of stupid question was that? He was a Slytherin.

Instead, he said, "I tried back in Hogwarts to use demon magic."

"Yes, your sister here has been trying the same thing."

"She succeed more than I did."

"But it is in your blood to use it. All you must do is embrace its fault."

So, he'd heard about what he'd done, probably from Selina. Demon magic required sacrifice, something Severus had tried hard not to use to gain his ability.

"I know the stories about you Severus," the Dark Lord hissed, "the people you murdered-"

"I hate to disappoint you, but I murdered none of them."

The Dark Lord looked at him, stony faced, for a long time, "Despite what you may think Severus, I don't take pleasure in murder. I merely want power. Do you want power?"

"Yes," he answered immediately, looking over the sleeping Selina.

"Good."

Severus looked back round.

"If you're anything like your sister you have power to control demon magic. And I'd hate to see that power go to waste. So, if it would please you, I could find someone to help you with your studies."

"You would do that?"

"If you promised to remain loyal to me for entirety."

It didn't seem like that bad an exchange.


	15. Chapter 15

Luc' was apparating with him this time to the meeting point for the Death Eaters, it felt good not to be alone when he landed. He had been over at the manor was the last three days, spending it mostly with Selina given how Cissa hated him and he hated Shylock. But where they landed filled him with instant dread. It was a block of flats that he had lived in with Rose less than six months ago.

"What are we going here Luc'?" he whispered, as more cracks snapped in the air, the sound muffled by the silencing shield cast around them. Luc' just should his head wildly, holding his shoulders stiffly as if he was about to throw up, a piece of blonde hair sticking out of the mask. Severus turned his focus to the crowd of black cloaks. There were a lot of them, more so than he had seen on any raid so far, more than dozen at least.

"-is to get inside and interrogated possible Mudbloods."

His stomach dropped. Rose. Shit.

"Everyone clear?" the man yelled the orders said to the crowd, who jeered and cheered at the request to hurt and maim the people who were essentially children. Why hadn't he known about this? They were only just requested to come here, no details. Perhaps the Dark Lord didn't trust him as much as he had thought. The Death Eaters in front of him started rushing in, Severus reluctantly following, wand out. The flats of the young witches and wizards reminded him of council houses. Most of the Death Eaters rushed into the flats on the ground floor, a few stampeding up the stairs, Severus joining them needing to find Rose. Below he could hear the screams of terrified teens and the shouts of curses being thrown. He didn't really understand how exactly they were meant to interrogate them and it appeared, neither did any of his comrades. Clearly the commotion had attracted the attention of those on the upper levels as a red-faced boy with blonde bleached dreadlocks came running down in black pyjamas wand pointing at Severus. He barely gave the boy thought sending him back with a disarming spell, running pass him as two Death Eater bound the boy and started punching him. Finally, he made it to the third floor where Rose was. The Death Eaters had already made their way up here, doors shattering, a rainbow of spells flying across the hall, a few students having barricaded their rooms with tables, shouting spells from behind them. But, though the door that led to Rose's room had also being shattered by a curse but no sound came out of it. With a heavy heart, he entered the room, but there was no sign of Rose, dead or alive. Her flat was overturned, papers ripped every cabinet door flung open, the kitchen table on its side and a red velvet chair he'd never seen before laid across the floor.

"Rose?" he hissed incredulously, taking off his mask, as the chair morphed into the young girl.

"Sev'?"

He helped her to her feet.

"What are you doing here?"

"No time to explain," he said, not wanting to explain, "we have to get you out-"

Another Death Eater stepped through the door with his blonde hair sticking out of his cloak. Luc' looked between the two of them before taking off his mask to say something, a mistake Severus couldn't tell him to stop. Rose recognised him immediately.

"Malfoy?" she said and Luc' jumped, "Malfoy!" she screamed, lunging at him. Luc' was ready for her casting a shield which she bounced off, before sending a stupefying spell. She rolled out of the way of the curse, snarling like an animal, reaching for her own wand. It was like an intricate and deadly dance they were dancing, the light of the spells blinding Severus, destroying the apartment as they either ducked out of the way of the spells or deflected them. Severus dropped to the floor, the warm feeling of the spells flying over his head in gushes of wind. The lights of purple, blue, white and red soon turned to vivid green, both trying to kill the other. Severus risked to look up, watching the two dive out of each other's range. Then Rose stumbled and fell backwards into the green light. His heart stopped as she fell slowly the floor, Lucius' eyes widening in shock, before he bent over collecting his breath. But Rose was still moving, she looked up and then started laughing, Luc' too exhausted to notice.

"Guess you don't have the heart to kill me."

That made Luc' look up but it was too late, Rose casted ropes around him, making him topple over with a little scream.

Rose raised her wand, "Avada-"

"No!" Severus wasn't even aware he'd cast a spell. It was why he was so confused when Mary started tearing at her throat, gasping with rattling breath. She turned to him, eyes bulging and red face. She tried to walk over to him, but she didn't make it far, her skin tinging blue as she took one last rattling breath.


	16. Chapter 16

They didn't return to Malfoy Manor immediately. Severus wasn't sure where they had gone, all he knew was he was on a balcony looking down at blurry street lights and he had murdered Rose. Lily would never forgive him. Selina would never forgive him.

"You always had a thing for those Mudbloods."

Severus shrugged.

"it wasn't an insult."

Severus still didn't speak. This losing people thing was getting old, all his feelings of mourning drained from believing Selina was dead.

"She knew who I was."

"She believed," Severus started, before cleared his dry throat and continuing, "that your father killed her sister."

"You don't think-"

Severus shook his head before Luc' could finish, he didn't know what to think.

"Possibly. She could have attempted to kill your father. I don't know if she was the one to kill him."

"Unlikely given she was a Muggle."

Severus glared at him for speaking so ill of the recently dead.

"Sorry," he muttered and Severus put his head in his hands, tired.

"Was she the one that Selina loved?"

"No," he said, his voice muffled by his hands, "that was her sister."

"Well that's a good thing."

Once again Severus glared at him.

"Sorry," he repeated.

Severus sighed, leaning forward to look directly down at the ground below them as wind whistled over his head.

"Come on, we should head back."

How was he going to tell Selina? He didn't know. He still didn't know as he entered her room finding her, walking to the bookshelf, Shylock sitting in the chair next to her bed.

"Sev' we were wondering when you were going to return," Selina said smiling. She was still shaky on her feet but could move much better now as she hobbled towards him, a smile on her face. A lump formed in his throat.

"Were we?" Shylock muttered snidely. Severus looked at him.

"I need to speak to Selina," Shylock didn't move, "in private."

He looked up smiling cruelly, "now brother we don't have secrets in this family."

Rage filled him. He'd had enough today. He started to reach for his wand, but Selina reached forward for him, her finger slipping pass his skin, but he turned back to her. He reached out for him again and grabbed his hands.

"It's okay brother. Tell me."

Severus still looked at Shylock. Why did it seem so difficult to say it in front of Shylock? He wouldn't care. But Severus did and that made him weak.

He tried to phrase his words very carefully, "Do you know where I was?"

"No, a raid but apart from that…what happened?"

Severus felt like his mouth was filled with cotton, "we…er I was at the dorms, you know, the ones for students who have just left Hogwarts. I don't know why…they were just children."

He looked up at Selina, her eyes were filled with dread, her skin paled and the book in her hands falling as she lost hold of it.

She barely noticed it, "what happened?" she whispered again.

"Rose is dead," he regretted his blunt words but he didn't know how else to phrase it. Her tears welled up with tears as she froze. When the first one fell, she put her hands over her face, turning away from him and walking shakily to the bed.

"What? You don't still care about the Mudbloods?"

Selina stopped in front of Shylock, "get out," she said her voice wavering. He grinned now, standing up and for a second Severus thought he was going to listen, but he then grabbed Selina's hair and dragged her on to the bed.

"No!" he screamed finally getting his voice back and drew his wand. Shylock looked over at him lazily.

"Now we wouldn't want Selina to hurt herself anymore."

Severus wanted to scream, instead lifted his wand over his head and sent the mangle of spells at Shylock who was blasted into the wall. He rushed to Selina's side, wand still aimed at Shylock. The man turned around and snarled at his brother.

"No," Severus snapped, "get out."

Shylock continued to grumble maliciously but left without another word. Severus took his seat, watching Selina right herself and sit on the edge of her bed staring into nothing.

"Lily's fine," he said, finding nothing else to say, "I mean, she wasn't there obviously," he added when Selina looked around at him.

"You think…" she shook her head, "a girl is dead and you're trying reassure me Lily is not dead."

"I just thought-"

"How did she die?"

"Killing curse, it was quick," he said to the floor.

"Who?"

"Lucius."

"Severus."

His heart broke at the use of his proper name and looked up at her, his heart tearing itself into quarters at the devastation on her face.

"Look me in the eye and tell me Luc' killed Rose?"

He opened his mouth. He then shut it and looked back at the floor. Selina let go of his face, and he leaned with her as she moved away, lying down on top of the covers, staring blankly at the ceiling. She blamed him. He wanted to explain, Rose had wanted to kill Luc', Severus hadn't realised he'd been doing it. He couldn't, each reasoning sounded sour and he got up to leave.

"Stay with me."

He sat back down. It was awkward and they didn't talk but if Selina wanted him there he would be.

"Where have you been?"

Once again Severus found Black standing in front of him when he apparated in.

"Are you just always waiting for me to come back to your miserable home," Severus took deep satisfaction in the comical offended look that Black now has plastered on his face. He took the moment of pause to send a patronus charm to Dumbledore to tell him what had happened. "And more to the point I have been work behind the lines, putting my life on the line while you stay here."

"I go on mission," Sirius said hotly but without the slightest wavering, "I gather intel, you ain't special Snape."

It annoyed him that Black was probably telling the truth.

"Just get out of the away," he snapped, pushing past him to get upstairs. The room of the house that had been labelled as his felt unslept in since he hadn't been back in ages. He landed on his front, collapsing on the bed, exhausted. He didn't know if he did get any sleep but he felt like it was only moment when bright light burned through his eye lids. He shielded his eyes with his hand as Dumbledore voice echoed through the room.

"I will be there in three minutes."

Then the patronus faded. He banged his head into the mattress knowing he needed to get up. He grumbled down the upstairs and walked into the kitchen. He stopped, winded as he saw Lily sipping tea. She was drinking a cup of tea and her sister had just been strangled to death. She was blowing on it. The simple action didn't seem like it should exist in the same universe as the dead corpse of one's sibling's.

"Hello Sev'."

"H-hi. How…how are you?"

"Oh. Pregnant." She smiled smugly before taking another sip. How the hell was he meant to tell her about Rose after that? Lucky, or perhaps not Lily look up and said quietly, "I know what happened with Rose."

The room fell silent, "What?" his echoed in the large room. She shrugged. Shrugged at her sister's death.

"How?" was all he could say; all he could get through his confusion. She tapped her forehead.

"I saw it."

She had to be lying, this had to be some sort of sick joke. If she had seen her sister's blue lips and last moments of begging Severus for life, she wouldn't be speaking to him as if they were old friends.

"Then… why didn't you…"

"Sometimes you learn to let things go."

He didn't believe it. He wanted to tear at his hair and scream at her for her passiveness. While he still felt the wave of shock that he always felt when killing someone still but she should be mourning where he wasn't. she should be angry at him, scream and cry at him.

"Severus."

He turned around, Dumbledore's eyes were always twinkling. He wondered if they would continue to do that as they got further into the war. He looked back down at Lily who was still drinking tea. She got up leaving without looking back at Severus who watched her, mouth agape as she left the room.

"Severus."

He looked around mouth still open, shaking.

"They killed them," was all he could say, slumping into a chair, "they killed them."


	17. Chapter 17

He didn’t really know what he was saying to Dumbledore, he couldn’t barely pay attention to staying upright let alone what he brain was saying. He just let it all flow out, still in the small apartment with Rose.  
“I know.”  
He was still talking at a minute past before he realised he had been spoken to.   
He blinked, “excuse me?”  
“I know that Tom was trying to do, luckily we were able to get most the graduates out before any real damage.”  
“Real…people are dead. Children are dead.”  
“It was unfortunate.”  
“What? Aren’t you supposed to be the…good guys or something?” he barely could get the words out, wincing at the crude term as his brain struggled to articulate.   
“Let us not forget who attack them.” Dumbledore’s voice had turned cold.  
Severus stood up, his chair falling to the floor, “I joined for you. Don’t you ever forget that. All of this I did for you, because you blackmailed me with my own child!”  
“Keep your voice down.”  
He bit his tongue, “who even told you?”  
“My boy you are not my only source of information,” he said his eyes twinkling.  
“No, I guess not.” He spun round and marched out the room, colliding with Johanna on the other side. She looked him up and down unabashed. He didn’t want to have to ask how much she’d heard but the look of pity told him she’d heard something. He stormed up the stairs not caring for now. Was he angry because he realised that if he died Dumbledore could easily replace him or because people were dead? He didn’t know which made him slam his head on his door.

“We need to talk Severus.”  
He knew it was childish but sitting against the door was the only way of keeping anyone from coming in. he remained silent as Johanna hammered on the door.  
“Severus you will open this door. Stop being a child!”  
He had killed an innocent child, he didn’t think childish was a thing he could do anymore.  
“Tell me Dumbledore meant, Snape!”  
He didn’t move and wondered how long she’d wait there. Knowing her, probably until one of them starved. He didn’t have long to wonder what he’d eat while he tried to outwait her when a gleaming silver snake slithered through the wall. His head hit the door in shock as he had to repeat to himself that it was a patronus.  
“Come over,” was it said, the voice of Evans echoing around the room. Johanna stopped banging on the door.  
“Severus? Who’s in there?”  
“Come over.” It repeated. He looked at the door, then lunged at the snake let it apparate them to wherever Evans was.


	18. Chapter 18

Severus thudded down on wooden floorboards.  
“What are you doing here?” Regulus was speaking in a voice he imagine was meant to be cold, but Severus just glare at him.  
“I was invite by your…friend.”  
Regulus still looked disgusted, but offered a hand to him. The apartment looked painfully similar to Rose’s and slightly more cramp, the surface, even the floor covered by parchment and text books and trinkets.  
“Severus!” Evans appeared from the doorway leading out of the crammed dinning room, “good to see you.”  
“Yes,” was all Severus could say in return, his mind still focussing on the blood that was now on his hand. Or maybe now there just seemed to be more of it. He rubbed with hands down his trousers.  
“Can I ask why you called me here?”  
Evans gave him a sad smile.  
“Malfoy told us about what happened.”  
“You weren’t there then?”  
“Evidently not,” Regulus bit out. Then, slowly, with his eyes staring at the table he was sat at, he said, “did they really kill…all of them.”  
Severus shrugged, he didn’t know, he didn’t care.  
He bit his lip, probably thinking about his friends that didn’t have the luxury of a helicopter boyfriend, “That’s Mudblood girl was in my year,” Regulus continued conversationally, despite his obvious anxiety, “she always had a crush on you.”  
Severus sighed, sitting down opposite him, “thank you for reminding me.”  
“Oh come on. Anyone having a crush on you is a complement.”  
Evans glared at Regulus, “did you and Johanna Potter have a fling?”  
‘And a baby.’ He nodded, “yeah I may have slept with her once or twice.”  
Regulus snorted, “sure, she’s attractive for a blood traitor.”  
He looked down at the table now, he knew Reg’ said it out of habit.  
“So when did you two become a thing?” he asked, sipping his drink.  
“Regulus spluttered while Evan said, “in fourth year.”  
“What while I was still there?”  
Regulus sounded like he was choking, “well we didn’t start dating until sixth year.”  
“You can’t tell him things like that!” Regulus finally got out.  
“Yes I can. It’s not like he can judge us. Think of Selina.”  
“In love with that other Mudblood,” Regulus noted.  
“So how did you do, exam wise?” he asked, not wishing to talk about his sister’s shortcomings.  
“Never mind that,” Evan said, “what are you going to do about your grades?”  
“Don’t really need any right now,” he sighed twiddling her glass, “I guess I’ll have to pay to sit, I have like four OWLs, none of them really good.”  
“Wow look at me,” Regulus started, smirking, “I have more OWLs than Snape.”  
The conversation spiralled down into spiteful competition of grades and learning about what they wished to do with their futures, a conversation that should have happened years ago, with Regulus not looking at Severus with eyes still clouded with hatred and with Severus having more NEWTs than either of them. Still, he left leaving fuzzy and happy, stumbling noisily through the hall of Black’s house as he apparated.  
“Floor,” he said dumbly, as he avoided being acquainted with said floor more than he wanted to be. Luckily he didn’t fall and started his way up the stairs.  
“Where have you been?”  
He fell down a stair trying to face Black.  
“Why do you…care? Yeah that’s the word,” he mumbled.  
“You’re drunk.”  
He snorted, “yep. Why do you care?” he was leased at the confidence he said the second time.  
“My wife’s been worried sick.”  
“Well I’m sorry.”  
“As you should be,” Black said with anger.  
Severus finally focussed on Black.  
“Excuse me?”  
“I’m on to you.”  
He shook his head as if confused but he knew exactly what the man meant.  
“I don’t know what you’re implying.”  
“You know exactly what I mean. You haven’t changed Snape. You’re exactly like your sister.”  
He didn’t remember getting out his wand, but frankly he couldn’t care as Black tumbled backwards. He looked down at the limp body, went to check the pulse and went up the stairs, grumbling. Stupid Black. But he knew he wasn’t only on those thoughts. Most of the order hated him, thought he was a traitor or worse. Perhaps he was. The thought made him stop. Being a traitor to the light meant being with his friends. With people who trusted him. His own family. Being on the dark side meant being powerful. To his right he heard the faint coo of a baby followed by the gentle sounds of a lullaby. He entered his daughter's room finding Johanna singing and cradling her. He remained motionless, as if Johanna hadn’t already seen him. Only went she laid Pheonix down did Severus enter. He looked down at the docile baby, placing a hand over her side. The girl grabbed his finger, making him smile.  
“Did Dumbledore tell the truth?”   
He dragged his finger out of her hand, “she’s got your nose, consider yourself lucky.”  
Johanna sighed, “I’m sorry how this all worked out.”  
“I don’t think I would have wanted to be a father. I’d be afraid to be my father, now…now I’m just scared I’ll end up killing her.”  
“No, I’d kill you first.”  
He smiled at that.  
“Would you have left me?”  
“No, I was stupid enough to believe you loved me.”  
She grabbed his hand, and when he turned to look at her, she placed her other hand on his cheek and kissed him.  
When she pulled back she said, “I don’t love you.”  
“Good to know,” he said dryly.


	19. Chapter 19

“Of course, the Dark Lord wants his followers to be closer to together. Who knows where they could be staying?”  
Dumbledore nodded, “he’s becoming paranoid.”  
With good reason.  
“He wants me to move in with more of his followers. He does trust that I’m staying surrounded by your powers.”  
“Do you know who you’re staying with?”  
Severus shook his head. Another man may try and shield his mind more from Dumbledore’s eyes. But Severus kept it as open as it had been at the beginning pf the meeting. Dumbledore could fight through it but he would know and Dumbledore had no reason to. He trusted Severus. The Dark Lord was right to be paranoid where Dumbledore was a fool to be trusting.   
“Well of course you must do it then.”  
“I intend to.” He nodded curtly. Dumbledore smiled glad that he had been able to agree with the young man. It was so kind that Severus wanted to punch him.

He pretended he wasn’t hurt. There were too many things in war to feel betrayed by and hurt by, he didn’t have time to do it himself. If he pretended hard enough it wouldn’t hurt at all. He was getting good at that. So, he didn’t question that he was now to live at Evans’ and Reggie’s so soon after they invited him over. As stated he didn’t have time to worry about that when Johanna and Black seemed so paranoid he was going.  
“I mean who exactly are you staying with?”  
He didn’t need to shield himself from Black so nearly blurted out the truth. He looked away. Johanna too looked at him with suspicion. She had said nothing more on him and Phoenix. She was holding her in arms, the baby girl barely noticing what was going on.  
“Does Dumbledore even know?” Black continued.  
“What does it matter what that man knows?” he finally snapped.  
Black whipped out his wand and Severus wasn’t far behind with his own.   
“The pair of you stop!”   
Johanna was holding Phoenix’s head under her own, looking enraged at the restless so close to the toddler. Severus felt torn for a moment choosing between pride and Johanna. He did lower his wand eventually and was glad to see how slow Black put away his as well.  
“If you leave would stop these horrid squabbles between you two then go!”  
It was technically supporting him, but he would have never wanted to leave like this. He would have wanted to kiss her and Phoenix’s heads. Still he back away, picking up his luggage and apparating at the door step.


	20. Chapter 20

“He says it makes sense, he barely even questioned it.”  
“The old man is becoming foolish.”  
The Dark Lord almost smiled. Severus was glad he didn’t, he didn’t want the monster to do anything remotely human.   
“Others are suspicious though.”  
“Do they matter?”  
He focused on Black’s faces, rather than on Johanna or the little girl that would never be able to defend herself.  
“Dumbledore trusts them. But…he trusts me more.”  
“And how can you be certain?”  
Severus sat up straight, trying to keep at ease, despite the fact he wanted to curl up into a ball away from the powerful man.  
“Because he wouldn’t have let me go otherwise.”

**

The Dark Lord always carried himself as if everything he did was meticulously planned out. And yet as Severus watched the field of Death Eaters battling it out with a small group of rebels, he started to believe the Dark Lord was the only man who had any brains. They had been attempting to raid the house of the Weasleys, but had been met on the border of their wards with a surprise attack. Half the Order was here from what Severus could see and was glad he was wearing his mask. Had the Order just been lucky? Had the rest of the Death Eater truly been incompetent enough to alert the Weasley clan to their presence? Or, he thought heart jumping to his throat, casting protego as a nasty bright curse was sent directly at him, did Dumbledore have another spy? Would Dumbledore no longer have use for him? 

He tried to focus more on the battle in front of him. The Death Eaters had scattered, curses being shot at random and many running to retreat. They probably could have defeated the attack if they had just had the balls to fight. Many were fighting, Shylock being one of them. He was no longer wearing his mask, tearing out the throat of a still twitching body. He came back up, bloodied and chewing. Severus stared in horror, barely realising he was being attacked, arm hitting and started burning. He shot back, the woman’s shield broke under its power and she fell to the floor screaming, until blood ran up her throat and choked her. He was meant to be helping these people, hearing them die was painful. He shot a killing curse at another thinking of Potter and watched him crumple. It made him smile. But they had lost to many people in the confusion, that even those who had stayed to fight had to retreat. As others ran, Severus tugged the chain from his neck and was pulled at the navel back into Evans’ flat. He stumbled and fell as he landed hearing a gasp from another room.  
“Where is he?”  
He groaned looking up at topless, shaking Regulus Black. He was reminded with burning anger of the younger’s brother.  
“Evans?”  
“Yes, where is he?”  
Severus groaned again, throwing his mask to the floor.  
“I don’t know, I didn’t see him.”  
When he finally stood, Regulus was still shaking.  
“He’ll be fine Reg’. Come sit.”  
Regulus glared at him, ordering him around his own house, but sat regardless. They sat in silence at the kitchen table, Severus still catching his breath and desperately wanting a drink. There was another bang and both of them stood. Evans came in, maskless, with a grimacing Lucius at his side.  
“Luc’!” Severus stepped forward and then stopped as Regulus ran across the small flat.  
“Evans!” Reg’ reached out to touch Evans as the man placed Luc’ down in a chair, Lucius hissing as he did. His shirt was red.  
“I’m fine,” Evans snapped, “help him.”  
Regulus looked taken aback but did as he was told, taking out his wand from his loose trousers and ripping Luc’s shirt apart with a spell. Severus had to look away for the sight, if he didn’t see it, then it wasn’t real, the blood wouldn’t be real. A hand came down on his shoulder.  
“He’ll be fine,” Evans whispered. Severus nodded stiffly, still not looking around instead watching Evans rummage through cabinets.  
“Should we go back to the Dark Lord?”  
“Not unless you have a death wish.” Evans placed a dusty bottle down, “he’ll deal with those to blame, we best hope that he doesn’t think that’s us.”  
Evans looked at him, he looked paler but unharmed. He gave Severus a small smile.  
“Here you need a drink,” Severus’ hands were filled with a goblet of Firewishkey.  
“You too Luc’.” Evans pushed another one into Lucius hands. The man blinked down at it, the wounds healed only leaving deep red blood drenching his chest making his skin looked deathly pale in contrast. But he was still breathing and nodded in thanks. Evans finally sat down next to Regulus who immediately took his hand. He was shaking harder than they were. There was a moment of silence.  
“Cheers,” Luc’ said mockingly, yet all them raised their glasses and drank deep.


	21. Chapter 21

Johanna wouldn’t stop staring at him but Severus refused to look at her. She wanted to search his eyes, better than any lectimancy. She wanted to know the truth that was within and he refused to let her because he wasn’t sure what she’d see. He’d done everything for her, for his daughter, because what else did he have. But now he had his friends, a house, power. He watched over the table of the Order, none of these people trusted him and perhaps they were right to. Luckily Lily wasn’t here, Johanna couldn’t change in his mind, but perhaps Lily would. He didn’t know where she was and didn’t care where Potter was. Probably with his wife.  
“Severus,” he turned to Dumbledore, “tell us what Voldemort intents to now?”  
They had been talking about the failed attack on the Weasley's. Many laughing at it.  
“He intends to attack Diagonally. To upset the structure and business of England soon in the next few weeks.”  
Dumbledore’s piercing eyes watched his as he thought about the plans of attack. Dumbledore turned away with a nod and started talking about counter attack. Severus sat back. Of course, the attack wasn’t for months. The Death Eaters first had to plan for an attack on St Mungos.


	22. Chapter 22

What was he doing? He looked down at his mask. The mask had been hard to clean of dirt and blood after the Weasley's. And now he was attacking a hospital. That was, in all senses, the definition of evil. What was he doing? Evan’s hand slapping his shoulder, brought him back to their small kitchen. Theirs.   
“I know,” Evan sighed, “I know what you’re thinking.” He gave him a sad smile. “But listen Luc’ has promised drinks afterwards. You won’t even have to see Narcissa.”   
“I’ll see Reg’ though.”   
“Reg does actually believe you when you say you didn’t murder his cousin.”   
He placed his mask on his face, he wished they didn’t to talk about her.   
“Let’s go.”   
Reg’ was already in the living room, waiting for them. He linked his fingers with Evan and Severus grabbed Evan’s elbow. They apparated.


End file.
